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Part 1


Have you taken the time to have a midlife crisis yet? If not, you may have already missed the best window of opportunity. The 90's was a decade which focused on the dilemma of making a transition from youth to something more responsible. The timetable pertained to whatever point in our lives was half way-chronologically it ranged from late 30's to mid 40's-or thereabouts. Billy Crystal wrote, produced, directed and starred in "City Slickers," a movie version of three men in the throes of "finding themselves." More specifically, the character played by Crystal, realized at 39 he had, according to his wife, "Lost his smile." He returned from a harrowing, western cattle drive with his smile and a calf. The other two characters decided to each have their own "do overs."

"Starting Over," the title of another movie, played upon a similar theme. Cut your losses and run.

This topic is so mammoth that we're going to offer a couple of installments…. just think of it as "Mission Impossible" and "Mission Impossible-the sequel". There are some unavoidable pitfalls-or, just stuff that is the proverbial "pits". Starting with menopause….yep…Men O Pause.

This is our gift to you…if you have "been there, done that," or you're doing it now, or you're anticipating it someplace down the road. For some women it's just another "day in the life of" but for lots of the rest of us, it is - well, the pits. So begin by printing out a copy of this and affixing your name to it-and a little music to go along with the theme….

The name of the song is "It's My Pause and I'll Cry If I Want To" and is sung to the tune of "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To" and log onto this URL so you can sing along with the tune....the music starts with the chorus and then the first stanza:

www.geocities.com/Broadway/Alley/1623/itsmypar.mid


Nobody knows where my hormones have gone
But good sense left the same time
Why must women endure this stuff
Just when we're hitting our prime?
It's my pause and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too, if it happened to you!
Yell at my friends, can't sleep all night
So leave me alone for a while
'Til these hormones are under control
I have no reason to smile!
It's my pause and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too, if it happened to you!
The doctor walks in and says she brings help
Here comes estrogen to the rescue
And, now there's another great big surprise
A special, red hot flash is really making me blue!
It´s my pause, and I´ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you!


FROM THE OFFICE OF HRH MINNIE PAUZ, ESQ. REINGING MONARCH IN THE QUEENDOM OF MENOPAUSE

WHEREAS, ______________________________________________________Esq.
HAS EXHIBITED SPECIAL QUALITIES (Esq.) AND,

WHEREAS, SHE HAS DEMONSTRATED GRACE UNDER PRESSURE IN DEALING WITH THE UGLY CONDITION KNOWN AS MENOPAUSE, AND

WHEREAS, SHE MAINTAINS AN ADMIRABLE SENSE OF HUMOR, AND

WHEREAS, SHE HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF HER LIFE, AND

WHEREAS, SHE NOW OWNS IT, RATHER THAN ALLOWING IT TO OWN HER, AND

WHEREAS, SHE DISPLAYS A DETERMINATION TO LIVE HER LIFE WITH ENTHUSIASM AND GOODWILL AND EMBRACES HRT (HUMOR REPLACEMENT THERAPY), AND

WHEREAS, SHE PURSUES THE BEST AVAILABLE MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR HANDLING WHAT IS BY NO MEANS AN EASY CHALLENGE, AND

WHEREAS, SHE IS A ROLE MODEL FOR OTHERS DEALING WITH ALL THE VARIOUS VAGARIES ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SITUATION SO MANY WOMEN FIND THEMSELVES IN, AND

WHEREAS, SHE IS RESOLUTE IN HER GOAL OF LIVING LIFE TO ITS FULLEST REGARDLESS OF THIS ANNOYING THING WHICH CAN CAUSE DISCOMFORT, SLEEPLESSNESS AND A HOST OF OTHER IRRITATING SYMPTOMS, NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH ARE THE DREADED HT'S (HOT FLASHES) AND

WHEREAS SHE IS A SPOKESWOMAN IN THE MOST CONSTRUCTIVE, POSITIVE AND HOPEFULLY, HILARIOUS MANNER FOR INFORMING THE WORLD ABOUT THIS,

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED THAT

__________________________________Esq.

Is hereby appointed, "TEMPORARY" AMBASSADOR TO THE QUEENDOM OF MENOPAUSE, AND SHE IS GRANTED ALL RIGHTS, PRIVILEGES, AND AUTHORITY WHICH THAT CONFERS.

SIGNED, ON THIS DAY BY, MINNIE PAUZ, HER ROYAL HIGH/LOWNESS WHO IS A "SISTER IN THE STRUGGLE" WITH ETERNAL GRATITUDE AND GOODWILL!

MINNIE PAUZ, ESQ
HRH MINNIE PAUZ, ESQ

THIS APPOINTMENT EXPIRES THE MINUTE ALL THE HOT AND BOTHER CONCLUDES-ON THAT PRECISE NANOSECOND!
 
 

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