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Pearls of Wisdom

NEAT WOMEN are willing to ask advice, accept advice and give advice. This is a page where visitors may find a wide range of topics pertaining to issues of importance for neat women. It will be updated regularly and will contain information which might be advice, shared knowledge or experience regarding topics you suggest, request or offer for consideration.

N.E.A.T. November
Through the Looking Glass

Although we realize most people have not yet begun to think about New Year's resolutions, we decided to get a jump on that process. We're also suggesting that you replace that list with something that could be much more useful. An autobiography about you! The first step is to take a long, close look in a full length mirror…..literally and then figuratively. Then, take time to think carefully about what you see. A possible title for this would be "Just Me." That denotes the fact that this has to be a solitary exercise—no input from anyone but you. In order to do this well, you must make a commitment to be excruciatingly honest….no one else will see it, so why not?? We've prepared an outline which you may or may not want to follow, might revise or edit to suit your needs, and we hope you'll give yourself the gift of time to do this….it is the giving season—you deserve to be on the receiving end too.

WHO AM I?   

My appearance………………do I like it? Do I dislike it? What can I do about it to make myself more satisfied with it? Do I need help remedying the things I'm not pleased about?

My appearance………………is my view of it realistic? Do I look upon it as something I want others to like? Do I care more what other people think about it than about what I think?

"I have to remember to tell the negative committee that meets in my head to sit down and shut up." Kathy Kendall

There are three categories of our physical appearance that we seem to express the most concern about:

My weight…….is it healthy for my age, height and lifestyle? Are my expectations about it based on external influences or what I know to be best for me? Is there some type of help that could assist me in reaching a realistic goal I might set for changing it. Am I willing to seek that type of support? Why not?

My hair…..have I thought about what might be the best style (length, color) for me? Is it possible that a change is something that will give me a boost of confidence? Do I care enough about myself to actually do it differently? Why not?

My wardrobe… I dress to please other people? Have I ever thought about dressing to please myself? Does wearing make-up make me feel more secure? Does it matter what other people think about any of that? Why?

What is it that I want to do to look good to myself when I pass a mirror? Am I going to be generous with myself to accomplish that goal….by taking the time to actually develop a plan for that purpose? Why not?

"If you don't know what you want, you'll probably get what somebody else wants." Susan Collins

Am I prepared to deal with my appearance in a positive manner which will benefit me specifically?

Why not?

Emotionally… I feel balanced to a degree that I can function to my maximum potential? If I don't what can I do to achieve that? Why wouldn't I strive to accomplish that?

Spiritually… I have a sense of spiritualism that is uplifting, concrete, and always present in my life? If not, what can I do to provide that dimension in my life? Why wouldn't I do it?

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

Now, at this point, if you've come this far, you're probably thinking:
These questions are too hard!
What's the deal with no answers?
Who in their right mind would think I have time for all this?

The answer is, of course they're hard—they are potentially life altering—but in a constructive manner. It's often much easier to destroy something with one swift hit of the wrecking ball than to take it apart piece by piece to make room to build something better!

"We're all capable of climbing so much higher than we usually permit ourselves to suppose." Octavia Butler

We cannot provide answers to questions that are so intimately about you. Only you can do that. If we offered possible solutions they would be arbitrary and superficial at best. Everyone knows the easy answers anyway—diet, exercise, and elimination of stress, blah, blah. Do you really want to hear a variation on that theme for the zillionth time? Bottom line—they are your questions to ask and yours to supply the answers to….if you want that for yourself.

"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right." Mary Kay Ash

Which brings us to the issue of time……someone once said, "People do what they REALLY WANT to do!" Think hard about that because it is one hundred percent true. If you honestly want to do something differently you will—but only when you really want to. Because that type of action requires guts, determination, and motivation. If you don't have those three it's because you prefer not to. They don't sell them at K-Mart or any place else. But, if you don't have those three traits you are selling yourself short…..they are yours for the taking, even though it might mean you have to fight to possess them.

"Real guts are nothing more than developing your inner voice to the point where it is louder and stronger than the voice of your fear." Georgette Mosbacher

We do have two things that might be worthwhile as you ponder all this and hopefully take the time to think enough of yourself to consider what you want for yourself. We'll call these road signs on your path.

Letting Go

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

Is it time for you to let go of anything or anyone for your own good or someone else's? Another question only you can answer.

"The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them." Robert James Waller

By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And when we let our light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Who are you? We think you are someone special, important and worthwhile! This site is dedicated to you. We hope you'll start thinking about the core philosophy here at Neat Women Inc……Now Enjoy All Things And celebrate yourself! We do.

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