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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

A neat woman, who was one of the first and most enthusiastic visitors to this site, posted something on the Neat Women Inc message board a couple of years ago, which we would like to share. She gave us her permission to do that. It's particularly appropriate for this month….Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

"I am celebrating being 66 years old. It's not my birthday, but the first day of the rest of my life. I should be sad and grieving today. This is the anniversary of my best friend and brother's death. I think of him every day, but I have managed to think of the 22 good, productive loving years that we had together.

The other reason that I am celebrating today is because I talked to the radiation oncologist that has given me 23 treatments and 2 more to go. He tells me I have chosen my life just right. Sounds strange, since I have been dealing with cancer for almost 24 years. It also sounds strange to have had breast cancer for a third time, when you have already had two mastectomies….thank God for the new treatments. The doctor told me that although he knows that I did not choose to have this happen again, it's a good time to take care of it.

With a lumpectomy, radiation and Tamoxifen, he told me I could go my way, come in for an office visit and get on with my life.

I remember my aunts and the nuns at school told me that it was not proper to touch your body in certain places. Forget it. Now is the time to touch yourself anywhere you want to, although in public, it is still frowned on by some. At least that's what I thought until I accidentally got hooked into "Perverts.com" and thought I would have to shut my computer down to get off of it.

I sometimes envy women who have breasts, but then I think:

I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When we wrote to Doris to ask if we could use her posting, this was her reply:

"I wrote that message because that's the way I felt on Tuesday. I don't feel any differently today. I am still celebrating my life. I have completed my 25 treatments and can now forget about them, except for my purple underarm.

I am glad that there are so many treatments for cancer now. Maybe someone who suspects that she has it will do something besides worry about this disease. The only alternative to facing cancer is death and most people don't want to think about this. You may use the message anywhere you like. I am happy to have the opportunity to speak of how I feel and not think myself just another crazy old lady.

I get long winded about this because I know how emotionally and physically debilitating it is."

We have never met Doris "in person" but we've come to know her as a friend. We don't think she would mind our telling you that she didn't even begin to mention all the heartache in her life—some of which is ever present today. She has a grown daughter who has been struggling with a crippling and difficult illness most of her life. This is one strong woman, our friend Doris. For those of us who are some years behind her, she is like a sturdy, trustworthy and comforting beacon of warm light in the distance. Someone who can not only routinely inspire us, but who is also willing to share her strength as a guide for us in our travels. We are grateful to her, happy to know her, and energized by her wit and wisdom, which she has shared time and again.

~Why Worry About Tomorrow~

Why worry about tomorrow
And the rising of the sun,
Or anguish over past mistakes
That cannot be undone?
Why waste life's precious moments
On things that bruise the heart
When today is ours to fashion
Into a work of art?
Today comes but once, my friend,
It never can return-
So use it wisely while you can,
There's a lesson you may learn.
Let history record the past
And tomorrow come what may.
Be content to do your best
With what you have today!

We do not know the author of that poem—but it sounded to us like Doris' mantra, which is why we selected it. In memory and in celebration of Gildna Radner who said, "The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity. No matter what happens, whether the cancer never flares up again or whether you die, the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have LIVED" Ms. Radner lost her battle with ovarian cancer when she was in her 30's.


Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org

Monday, October 18, 2004

Start the week with a smile!

How To Cheer Yourself Up When You're Down by Colleen Moulding

Got the colder weather, sour relationships, no money, poor health, plain ol' down 'n dirty blues? Try some of these strategies to blow away those dark clouds and let the sunshine into your life again.

1) Dance! Put on your favorite music, turn it up loud and dance! This is guaranteed to make you feel good. If you are unable to dance, don't let that stop you having fun - sing at the top of your voice instead.

2) Smile! Force yourself to smile even if you don't feel like it. This tricks your brain into thinking that you are happy. You do want to be happy don't you? Okay then - a great big cheesy grin. After three, one, two, three, - smile:0)

3) Spend time with children. Their natural zest for life is infectious. As well as the pleasures of a spontaneous hug or a chubby little hand in yours, try to take away with you some of their joy in simple things, licking an ice cream, playing with water, tramping through fallen leaves or following a butterfly.

4) Reward yourself. If there is a job that you hate to do, household accounts, home repairs etc. don't keep putting it off so that it is constantly nagging at you. Just get it done. Then reward yourself with whatever you love, a shiny new magazine, a bunch of flowers, a long soak in an aromatic bath, two bars of chocolate or an evening in front of the TV doing absolutely nothing. Or even all of the above if you can afford it. The peace of mind that comes from having got the job done will be the greatest reward of all.

5) Clear out your clutter. The ancient art of Feng Shui believes that getting rid of clutter rids your home or workspace of negative stuck energy and allows space for positive energy to surge into all aspects of your life. Whether or not this is correct, it is an undeniable fact that clearing out what you no longer want or need makes life easier. Your home is neater, looks more spacious and is easier to clean. There can also be a tremendous feeling of freedom as you let go of the past and trust in the future to bring you what you will need. Emotional clutter can be even more damaging. We've all said or done things we regret, the trick is to do anything you can to repair the damage and if that is not possible, forgive yourself and toss it out of your life.

6) Take action. If something is worrying you, be it a health problem, or debt or divorce, make that doctor's appointment, get some debt-counseling, find out your rights. The reality is often less stressful than sitting alone worrying about it. Try to talk over your problems with a friend, or if that is impossible find a support group on the Internet by typing debt, divorce or whatever into a search engine.

7) Positive thoughts. When you leave the house each morning, say and mean, I'm going to have a great day, it's going to be lots of fun, rather than thinking, Oh no, another dreary day at the office to get through. The first attitude will attract good vibrations and positive fun people to you, the second will ensure a depressing day.

8) Have more fun. Apparently children laugh approximately 400 times a day yet adults laugh only about 20 times a day. When do we lose our sense of fun? Claim it back. Play games, watch comedies, have daily jokes delivered to your mailbox or throw a fancy dress party.

9) Make something. Being creative gives you such a buzz you won't stay down in the dumps for long. Stencil a room, make a cake, plan a garden, sketch or paint a picture. Express yourself with a modern collage, change your rooms around, display your collections or start a patchwork quilt.

10) Keep a gratitude journal. Write down half a dozen things every day that you are grateful for, from waking up and seeing your children's beautiful little faces to the smell of the roses in the local park. This cannot fail to cheer you up if you do it regularly as it gives you a whole new way of experiencing your life.

11) Start a new project. Learn a language, trace your family history, redecorate your home, learn to ride a horse, gain a new qualification, take music lessons, learn to make your own soft furnishings or do your own auto repairs. Visualize yourself successfully completing the project and the benefits it will bring to your life. Then make a start and follow it through to the end. An added bonus will be the increased self-esteem that comes from having planned, problem solved and perfected the whole project yourself.

12) See your old friends. It's easy to get into a work, family, housework, shopping, sleep and back to work again routine that leaves you no time at all to be the person you once were. The funny, up for a laugh, outgoing young woman you used to be. Spending time with friends who knew the old you seems to resurrect that side of your character. You will come away feeling younger, more positive and excited by life than you were before you met up. Go on, invite them over to share a pizza and catch up on each other's lives.

13) Paint or accessorize a room that you spend a lot of time in a lovely bright yellow. The colour of sunshine will lift your spirit and bring positive vibrations. We subconsciously know about the effects of color on our emotions, which is why we talk about the future looking rosy or having the blues.

14) Take the happiness option. You have the choice whether to spend this day, which you will never live through again, in a state of happiness or unhappiness. Choose to spend it as happily as you possibly can.


About the Author:

Colleen Moulding is a freelance writer from England where she has had many features on parenting, childcare, play, travel, entertaining and the Internet published in national newspapers and magazines. She has also written a variety of women's and children's fiction. Her work frequently appears at many sites on the Internet and at her own site for women All That Women Want.com a magazine, web guide and resource for women everywhere. Why not drop by? It was made for you! www.allthatwomenwant.com

Through the Looking Glass http://www.neatwomeninc.com/nov_1999.shtml


Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org

Sunday, October 17, 2004


Simple Advice

  • Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

  • When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one, which has been opened for us.

  • The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

  • It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

  • Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

  • It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

  • Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

  • There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

  • Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

  • May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

  • The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

  • Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

  • When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

  • Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Reason, Season and Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

  • When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

  • When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

  • LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

"Sharing is sometimes more demanding than giving." Mary Catherine Bateson

Saturday, October 16, 2004


Dr. Seuss's Guide to the Internet
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame, sir!
We'll find you
Another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol
That's repeatedly rejected by your printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

After many years of marriage, Dave and I have achieved total sexual compatibility. We both have headaches at night.
People say marriage is a contract.
Contracts come with warrantees and guarantees; both written and implied. Plus that 30 day money back policy.
So what are you going to do? Take him back to his mom's house and say, "Here! He's broke! He Won't do a thing. He just lies around the house, making funny noises and smelling bad!"
Not according to Dave's mom!
I know; I tried. I think she knew I was coming. She had a sign on the front door,
"No exchanges or returns. All children final!"

Friday, October 15, 2004

Today is the 37th anniversary of two events--both of which seem to take on a unique significance in view of recent occurrences. We posted the following message three years ago today when life in America meant freedom from war waged on U.S. soil—a sense of security which was snatched from our grasp, along with the lives of so many loved ones on 9/11.

From: "On This Day in History"

"It was on October 15, in 1965, that the first draft card was burned in protest of the United States' escalating military involvement in Vietnam. And on this same day in 1969, those flames of protest swept across the nation in the form of demonstrations and a candlelight vigil outside the White House. Freedom of speech and the freedom to assemble are both guaranteed by the American Constitution. So even though many Americans did not agree with the government's foreign and military policies, they continued to exercise their rights to publicly express their opinions."

The basic human right to freedom is still sparking conflict around the world today. Political repression exists in countries in ways Americans and people of other free nations can hardly imagine. We've quoted from the book, "Freedoms After 50," which is a humorous look at the opportunities to overcome constraints we might expect aging to impose. But, the fundamental right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is no laughing matter and often won in the wake of great loss of life and property.

Sadly, freedom is something so easy to take for granted. How many of us can imagine casting off in something barely more than a dinghy and risking our lives to seek independence? Would we be willing to die for something we rarely give much thought to and seldom express appreciation about? Most of us cannot truly fathom living under the dominance and control of a dictatorship.

It's interesting that the period surrounding the burning of that first draft card, left an indelible impression on so many women in particular. To illustrate we have chosen passages from two books—one a novel and one non-fiction.

From "Hot Flashes" by Barbara Raskin, "Still, the sixties felt good to us because the present was always pregnant with possibilities, because right and wrong seemed easily discernable, and because we were still young and happy and in love with our handsome husbands and our bright, lovely children who played and laughed together, exhilarated by the camping quality of our Washington visits. Perhaps some moralist might say that when our country was waging a wrongful war, nothing should have felt so good. But the power we derived from our protest politics was heady and we have never quite forgotten how good it felt."

That is a description, which reflects the attitude of Depression Era babies—women born before 1940.

From "What I Saw At The Revolution: A Political Life in the Reagan Era," by Peggy Noonan (a woman born after 1945) a factual account of her response to that same time period:

"I don't mean we didn't care about Vietnam. We did. I can't get over it to this day, nor I suppose can anyone in my generation. I would say it gave shape to an era, but perhaps it only guaranteed that the era would be shapeless, that our politics would lack symmetry, perhaps for the rest of our lives"

Two different perspectives, same issue. There is a saying that "perception is reality." People's realities are quite different but there is one constant, best expressed by Pearl S. Buck, "None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free." And, as a character in a novel by Kay Mills said, "Nobody's free until everybody's free."

We sincerely believe that one of the best and most effective ways to demonstrate our gratitude is to vote in every election, in every country, which offers that opportunity. We also suggest a moment of silence for those who were lost on September 11, 2001 and the members of the military who are putting themselves in harm's way in order to preserve freedom in the United States and around the world.


Please take a minute and help us spread the word about The Breast Cancer Site. By telling friends about this fast, free way to provide mammograms to underprivileged women, you make a real impact on the number of women we help. In the first month of this year, we generated funds to provide 200 women with mammograms. With your help, we can impact the lives of more than 2,000 women in 2001. 43,000 women will die from breast cancer this year. Please click daily and tell others about The Breast Cancer Site. Here's the website! Pass it along to all your women friends!!

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