Three famous men born on this day devoted their lives to us in very different ways. First was Linus Pauling, the renowned scientist, humanitarian, and advocate of vitamin C. Born in 1901, he spent much of his life helping us live longer by searching for cures to cancer and heart disease. Champion racecar driver Mario Andretti kept us on the edge of our seats throughout his career, making life a little more exciting. The third man, actor Zero Mostel, is perhaps best known for his starring role as Tevye in the Broadway musical Fiddler on the Roof. As we consider what each of us can offer the world, think of what Tevye said: "To life!"
You probably don't know that today is designated as Bachelors' Day. At least that's the case three years out of every four. In leap years, bachelors are traditionally given their day on the twenty-ninth of February. It's based on an old Leap Year tradition in which a lady could propose marriage to a man. Later, it was changed to every year. Period. Luckily, we no longer have to adhere to such preposterous proprieties. Men have been liberated from the grave responsibility of being the one to initiate nuptials. And women have been liberated from the anxiety of waiting for this day to arrive each year.
On this date in 1983, the final episode of M*A*S*H* aired and was the most watched television program in history, attracting an estimated 125 million viewers. The show was witty, intelligent, insightful and reminded everyone that war is not funny but life is regardless of the circumstances. It was a thought provoking series that gave war a bad name—as it rightly deserves. Yet today, it often seems people would whether watch others making complete idiots of themselves or worse.
A new political party was organized on this day in 1854—the Republican Party. Are either of the two major parties actually "organized" any longer? Seems like another oxymoron.
All is not lost, however, although we had to go to the Library of Congress' calendar to learn this. On this day in 1797, an American educator was born and her remarkable influence is still felt today. It's an amazing legacy.
"Go forward, attempt great things, accomplish great things." Mary Lyon, founder of Mount Holyoke College was born on this date.
"The success of Mount Holyoke opened the doors of higher education for women. Mary Lyon proved that women were as intellectually capable as men, and that an institution for women offering a college curriculum could survive financially. Her impact on education was felt across the United States and in distant corners of the world. Graduates of Mount Holyoke Female Seminary carried Mary Lyon's ideals and teaching methods into schools which they founded or taught at, in places like Albert Lea, Minnesota and Marion, Alabama; Bitlis, Turkey and Honolulu, Hawaii; Umzumbe, South Africa and the territory of the Cherokee Nation; Kobe, Japan and Clinton, New York.
Through the work of Mount Holyoke's alumnae teachers, the quality of elementary and high school education improved nationwide; the presence of well-educated female teachers in the classroom offered role models for bright and aspiring girls and young women.
When they gathered in the Seminary building in 1837, neither Mary Lyon nor her students nor teachers could have envisioned that 160 years later Mount Holyoke would enroll nearly 2,000 women from 49 states and 74 countries, boast an 800-acre campus containing 40 buildings, and offer nearly 1,000 courses and 38 different majors.
"The only thing better than education is more education." Agnes E. Benedict
"Trust in God—and do something." Mary Lyon
Our most valuable and precious resource—Children—yours, mine, everyone's!
When you thought I wasn't looking
by a Child . . .
"When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.' "
Each of us, parent or friend, influences the life of a child.
The price of a child...
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle-income family. Talk about sticker shock. That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the things we could have bought, all the places we could have traveled, all the money we could have banked if not for (insert child's name here).
For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896 a year, $741.38 a month or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day. Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be rich. It's just the opposite.
There's no way to put a price tag on:* Feeling a new life move for the first time and seeing the bump of a knee rippling across your skin.
What do you get for your $160,140?* Naming rights. First, middle and last.
For $160,140, You never have to grow up.
* You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs and never stop believing in Santa Claus.
* You have an excuse to keep reading the adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies and wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray-painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, handprints set in clay for Mother's Day and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there's no greater bang for your buck.
* You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a sliver, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
* You get a front-row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, first time behind the wheel.
* You get to be immortal.
* You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.
* You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality no college can match.
* In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God.
* You have the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
"A child's attitude toward everything is an artist's attitude." Willa Cather
A GOOD WOMAN
A good woman is proud of herself. She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind.
She is quite capable of articulating her needs. A good woman is hopeful.
She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love.
She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.
A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future.
A good woman knows God. She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played with.
A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self-knowledge and unconditional self-love.
"Too many women in too many countries speak the same language—silence." Anasuya Sengupta
Excerpts from Reinventing Retirement News, by Marika and Howard Stone of www.2young2retire.com a periodic collection of timely information and tools. Think of it as a kind of news-and-commentary screen for the 50-plus generation.
Getting or staying in shape after 50 doesn't have to be drudgery. Just ask our True Stories marathoners, Mavis Lindgren, Tom Pontac and Diane Wender. Mavis began training for her first marathon at age 62 and ran her last one at 90, the fastest woman in her age group. Tom, 64, is training for the London and Paris marathons which he plans to run with his new wife, Jeanne, and race walker/New York Marathon alumna, 60-something Diane is currently teaching race walking in her community. What they share with other dedicated athletes is this: a passion for their chosen sport that motivates them to train on a regular basis. (Read their individual True Stories by clicking on: www.2young2retire.com/trueStories.html) and scrolling to their names Maybe the idea of competitive sports doesn't get your blood racing, but consider this: you can improve your health and life in as little as 20-30 minutes of exercise - ideally a combination of aerobic, strengthening and stretching routines -- 3 to 4 times a week, according to The American College of Sports Medicine. You don't even have to do it all at once. Ten minutes here, ten minutes there, can quickly accumulate to the ACSM- recommended quota. Taking the stairs, walking to the grocery store, gardening or domestic chores at a spirited pace, add up. The impact of regular exercise on how you look and feel then becomes its own motivation.
On the other hand, it is well documented that a physically inactive lifestyle at any age is the fastest way to disease and disability. After 50, the decline in cardio-vascular performance and muscle strength and flexibility accelerates as body fat increases, and muscle and bone mass decrease. We reach our peak physiological condition between our teen years and 30, which is why most marathon champions fall within these age categories. But whatever their chronological age, marathoners, like rowers, cyclists and other endurance sports aficionados, are generally in better condition than the rest of the population.
Happily, it is possible to outsmart biology and achieve optimum functioning. It has been shown that a 65-year old who follows a regular exercise routine can outperform a sedentary 25-year old. Muscle strength can be enhanced by as little as eight weeks of resistance (i.e. weight) training, even in 90 year olds. Regular exercise helps avoid the loss of lean tissue and improves joint function. Weight-bearing exercises - even yoga postures which use your own body weight - can help maintain bone density in both sexes. Of course, check with your doctor before you begin any new exercise routine, particularly if you have been inactive. Respect and listen to your body. Develop sensitivity to any signals that you need to take things easier.
It goes without saying that the key to making exercise a regular part of your life is to find something you enjoy doing for its own sake. Experience shows that exercising with a spouse, buddy or in groups not only reinforces healthy habits, but can also have a positive effect on your lifestyle in general. Check your community bulletin boards or the phone book for hiking or walking clubs in your area.
Another thing that makes it easier to commit to a regular exercise routine is to choose a sport or program that is easily accessible to you, and start out slowly. For those in the fifth decade or beyond, walking, swimming, yoga and Pilates are all excellent choices in themselves. They are also ideal to prepare the body for more physically demanding challenges. Both yoga and Pilates have become popular with professional athletes and dancers.
Both yoga and Pilates emphasize attention to the breathing patterns for optimum benefits. You may find that paying attention to your breath while exercising helps calm and relax you as well, and quiets the competitive impulse that might cause you to overdo it. Another benefit: you don't have to go to a gym or invest in a lot of costly equipment, although a few introductory lessons with an experienced teacher are highly recommended.
If you live where the weather inhibits regular exercise, try mall walking. Go early in the day, before the crush of shoppers makes the mall an obstacle course. Establish a route you can complete within about 15 minutes, including some stairs, then simply repeat it two or three times. If golf is your sport, give up the cart and walk the course to reap a double benefit.
Treadmills are synonymous with a boring routine, but they, like stationery bicycles and step machines, are invaluable exercise aids in inclement weather. For best results, don't read or watch TV while you exercise. Instead, focus on your breath and the movement of your body. Everything works better when you pay attention.
While we can't ignore the biological clock, focusing on fitness at 50 and beyond can yield decades of radiant good health. Bob Hope is credited for saying: "If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself." Here are some more resources to help you do just that. You will find a wealth of good information and resources at www.2young2retire.com
"I am persuaded that the greater part of our complaints arise from want of exercise."
Marie de Rabutin-Chantal (1671)
LIVING VIRTUALLY: MISSING REALITY DR. D, Dorree Lynn, PH.D
I have a dear friend, Diana whom I used to meet for lunch quite often. Lately work has had her traveling between three cities. I miss her terribly. I also have another close friend, Josh who used to live in my city. Josh and his wife now live in another state and Josh and I frequently communicate by e-mail. Both of these relationships have evolved into virtual friendships. These electronically based friendships have become remarkably frank, candid and even loving connections. I still love the people, but I am starting to hate our connection.
I understand that the net has many positive aspects. One of them is the ability to communicate quickly across territorial boundaries and to connect with friends and family all over the world. I like e-mailing my children when I know it is too late to call them knowing that when they awaken they will have a "letter" from mom. I like knowing I can contact my husband, or he me, if we are apart. I like all the information I can disseminate and find so very quickly. I like the easy sense of camaraderie and community I have with colleagues who belong to the same organizations that I do or who live far away. There are all kinds of things I like about the net.
Truth be told, I dislike aspects of the net and especially e-mail more than I like it. I hate the disembodied exchanges between souls who once maintained a real life basis for trust, anger, joy and love. I miss the intimate inflections of real voices during conversations, or seeing the expressive hand gestures that belong to one of my kids. I miss the sound of a friend's voice over the phone as we type more and talk less. I hate the massive amounts of thoughtless mail that clog my screen just because someone couldn't sleep and decided to send everyone in their address book a tasteless joke. I am impatient with all the petitions I am asked to sign, and the spam mail that I get. I miss going to the library as often as I once did and having the librarian introduce me to an unexpected reading treasure. Mostly though, I am sad because I know that soon, many people will barely know the difference between a virtual and a real connection. I don't want to become one of them.
I am a modern woman with a tradionalist's soul. I am old enough to remember the sound of the dairy truck as its clinking glass bottles announced the new day's dairy delivery. I have an even more poignant memory of the day I realized that milk had become homogenized as well as pasteurized. Young as I was, I knew then, that though my children would, hear, taste, feel and experience life in ways as yet unimaginable to me, they would never know the joy of sticking their finger down the narrow neck of the glass bottle to taste the cream on the top when their mother wasn't looking. In fact, they probably would never know the taste of genuine fresh cream.
Life moves on and I have moved with I; part of a virtual world. I use the web and I live on e-mail far too much. Yes, writing a book is easier in a document than on a typewriter. And, I know good marriages that started with innocent e-mails.
I know that technology is shrinking our world in ways that are more positive than not. Still, I miss Diana and Josh. Our virtual connection allows us to say things we might not ever feel free enough to say in person. E-mail does keep us connected, but deep down, I miss the easy laughter and the touch of both. The essence of each of them is no longer in my life. When I let myself think about that, I miss the reality of what we used to have.
This columns' for you,
DR. D, Dorree Lynn, PH.D
Life's Too Hard To Do Alone
If you would like to contact Dr. Lynn, write firstname.lastname@example.org or log onto www.sanecrazy.com
A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather that morning was questionable And clouds were forming, she made her daily trip to school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword would cut through the sky.
Full of concern, the mother quickly got in her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly, each with the little girl stopping, looking up and smiling. Finally, the mother called over to her child and asked,"What are you doing?"
The child answered, "Smiling, God just keeps taking pictures of me."
This is offered for thoughtful contemplation…..and, then you can decide FOR YOURSELF if there's any truth in it.
"PARADOX OF OUR TIMES?"
The paradox of our times is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time;
We have more advanced degrees, but less common sense;
More knowledge, but less good judgment;
More medicine, but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We have higher incomes, but lower morals.
We have been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We've conquered outer space, but inner space is still a mystery to too many of us.
We have cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
Split the atom, but not our prejudices.
We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often.
These are times of steep profits and shallow relationships;
World peace, but domestic warfare;
More leisure, but less fun;
It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom;
A time when technology can bring a letter to you in seconds, and you can choose either to make a difference or just hit "delete".
Our opinion about that? There's some truth but there, but we view it as more of a cautionary tale.
"Unity, not uniformity, must be our aim. We attain unity only through variety. Differences must be integrated, not annihilated, nor absorbed. What people often mean by getting rid of conflict is getting rid of diversity, and it is of the utmost importance that these should not be considered the same." Mary Parker Follett
"It does not matter so much what happens. It is what one does when it happens that really counts." Laura Ingalls Wilder
"A crisis is only a turning point." Anne Lindthorst
LETTERS TO GOD FROM DOGS
* Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
* Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
* Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
* Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
* Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
* Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
* Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
* Dear God, When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?
* Dear God, I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But many of the cats here have names and I don't. Could you give me a name please? It would be good for my self-esteem.
* Dear God, The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm innocent? Does Petsmart sell lie detectors?
(From Pets' letters to God, Mark Bricklin [translator]}
A couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?"
"Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," one said. "Murder sometimes, but never divorce."
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE WHEN ...
There are so many signs of trouble... How does one keep track of them all?
Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.
You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.
Your suggestion box starts ticking.
Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.
You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.
You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.
They pay your wages out of petty cash.
You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.
Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.
The simple instructions enclosed aren't.
A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.
You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your husband.
Your pacemaker has only a thirty-day guarantee.
The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.
The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.
A Man's Wish
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love-which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night.
"If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters." Nora Ephron
The year is 1585. A British expedition sails to Virginia to establish a new colony. A member of the expedition, Thomas Hariot, writes a detailed report—the first book in English about the New World. In his account, Hariot tells of discovering an astonishing herbal remedy called Uppowoc, cultivated by the local tribes. It "openeth all the pores and passages" Hariot marvels,…"by which their bodies are notably preserved in health and know not many grievous diseases."
Uppowoc is still with us, but now we take a different view of its medicinal qualities. We also call it by a different name, its Spanish name: tobacco. Almost makes one suspect that the Almighty which indigenous peoples revere, does have a sense of humor! Certainly got the white man on that one!
America has a collection of folkways and family recipes that, put together, have made up a particular way of life. One recipe was given to the rest of us by Native Americans on this date in 1630. That was when the locals introduced the Pilgrims to popcorn. Things have been popping ever since.
"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian." - Pat Paulsen May he rest in peace. Kind of makes us wish he were still around to run for President.
It's hard to think of popcorn without remembering what did seem like a "kinder, gentler" time. The era before the microwave, fat free food, low sodium everything, faxes in our cars, everyone driving by with a cell phone to their ear, and movies that are either more blood and gore than the Emergency Room at L.A.'s largest hospital on a Saturday night, or characters wearing nothing but a grimace and packing a 22. There were some very pleasant things about the years preceding all of that.
Interestingly, a very popular, successful, author and "futurist" today, is named Faith Popcorn. From Washington Post 3, 1998:
"Faith Popcorn has seen the future. And she's terrified. What is this trend consultant planning to do on the night the clocks tick into the millennium?
'I'm going to hide under my bed,' said Popcorn, whose trademark shock of blue hair has gone meaningfully white. 'I'm scared to death of cloning and of pollutants in the atmosphere and all the rest of the stuff out there. I'll be alone with my dust balls.'
But does it matter that Popcorn won't be dancing the night away at the Rainbow Room? Probably. Corporations from BMW and RJR Nabisco to Corning rely on Popcorn and her company, BrainReserve, to identify patterns in consumer behavior. Where she projects, they'll likely follow.
Popcorn is best known for coining the term 'cocooning,' to describe people retreating to the comfort of their homes in the 1980s. That's evolved into the 'armored cocoon' concept, in which homes are being fortified against the onslaughts of modern life.
Now she sees a population worried about contaminated air and water, road rage, the uncertainty of food-borne illnesses and over-stressed ecosystems.
She calls this new national nervousness 'AtmosFear.' No matter how much people will deploy aromatherapy or antibacterial soap or feng shui, she thinks the Year 2000 will usher in an era of unease, even if the actual millennium won't begin until 2001.
She has added a chapter on 'AtmosFear' to her 1997 book 'Clicking: 17 Trends That Drive Your Business and Your Life,' just out in paperback. Her co-author is Lys Marigold.
So far, all this bad karma is just a marketing 'drift,' not a full-fledged trend, she's telling her corporate clients. But with danger lurking, some changes are bound to make their way home. Consider these:
Popcorn's newest book, published in June, 2001, is titled, EVEolution and focuses on marketing to women. Hmmm—EVEolution? Catchy isn't it? We'll ask our EVE for her opinion.
"Send me out into another life. But get me back for supper." Faith Popcorn
"The trouble in corporate America is that too many people live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office)." Faith Popcorn
"For the first time ever in the history of mankind, the wilderness is safer than 'civilization.'" Faith Popcorn
In celebration of Black History Month http://www.neatwomeninc.com/cc_blackhistorymonth.shtml
Car care can save you money! www.neatwomeninc.com/neat_carcare.shtml
The Old Philosopher: A bit of wit, some wisdom and common sense by Charles B. Franklin Excerpted from the 1 November 1993 issue of The Community Standard
We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give!
In celebration of Black History Month www.neatwomeninc.com/cc_blackhistorymonth.shtml
Car care can save you money! www.neatwomeninc.com/neat_carcare.shtml
The theme for Black History Month 2003 is "The Souls of Black Folk: Centennial Reflections" http://www.bignet.org/aah/aah.htm
COLORS: BLACK & WHITE POETRY: DYNAMITE
By Monique Nicole Fox "Foxxy" email@example.com
LIFE'S MAKE-UP CASE
~By Monique Nicole Fox~
Life is like a woman's make-up case
many shades of eye shadow & eye liner
many colors of lipstick & lip liner
many tones of foundation
many hues of blush
Many cultures but one human race
~By Monique Nicole Fox~
One color should matter: GREEN
not black not red
not white not yellow
So much emphasis on color: OBSCENE
not black not red
not white not yellow
We all are a human: BEING
~By Monique Nicole Fox~
LET'S LEARN TO APPRECIATE EACH OTHER
for everything we do every day
for sustaining joint energy and commitment in a special way
LET'S LEARN TO NURTURE NOT SMOTHER
LET'S LEARN TO APPRECIATE LIFE FOR IT IS SHORT
for one day you are here and the next you are dead
for one day you are a baby being fed
for one day you may be stabbed blood red
LET'S LEARN TO BUILD A HAPPY HOME FORT
LET'S LEARN TO LOVE NOT HATE
for we all are human and feel
for we all are God's children and that is real
for we all need to get rid of sin, pray and kneel
for we all need to get better and take an anti-prejudice pill
LET'S LEARN TO UNDERSTAND AND EQUATE
LET'S DO IT NOW AND DON'T HESITATE
~By Monique Nicole Fox~
I'm a black woman
Full of pride
My brown skin I'll never hide
I'm a black woman
Full of grace
I'm proud of my people
I'm proud of my race
I'm blessed with good health
And a pretty face
I'm a black woman
Trying to succeed
Always doing my best
To do a good deed
I'm a black woman
Trying to pave my way
I want a good life
I'm a black woman
Endowed with faith and hope
Through road blocks and obstacles I can cope
I'm determined to make it up the corporate rope
I'm a black woman
Proud of universal place
World open your arms
Take me - - embrace
~By Monique Nicole Fox~
Skin is like soil
That people love to ponder & toil
And try to dehumanize & demoralize
Yet you can still organize
Yet you can still strategize
Yet you can still conceptualize
That the power is truth internalize
Monique Nicole Fox emailaddy: firstname.lastname@example.org
Women of Color Resource Sites
International Friendship Week is February 17-23
We would like to take a moment and offer a small tribute to a man who exhibited a Huge talent, a Large measure of compassion, and a Vast wit during his 77 years of life. His creative genius gave us a group that became synonymous with the word friends and friendship.
"Sigh. The world loses one of its best....
Somewhere in the distance, a beagle sits atop his doghouse and tearfully howls, and a small bird, his very best friend, cries. Somewhere a fuss-budget sister walks up to her brother, who is holding his security blanket, and asks whether, just this once, he might be willing to share it.
A small toy piano on which a young boy has somehow managed to perform some of the greatest classical music ever composed, falls silent in a moment of respect. A bossy little girl has stopped offering advice for a brief moment.
And on a baseball field, a round-headed kid takes off his cap, lowers his head, and quietly says, "Good grief....."
From the The Official Peanuts Website - Snoopy, Charlie Brown and ... (PeanutsRN)
Comics.com Comics List. ... Description: The official Peanuts website, with information on characters, appearances and creator, a daily cartoon.... www.snoopy.com
"Over the years, Schulz earned the respect and autonomy due an artist of his caliber.
When some editors suggested that Snoopy become less of a focus in the comic, Schulz quietly vetoed the suggestion. Surely we are all grateful today since Snoopy has become the most widely recognized and beloved character in the world. When Schulz retired, it had been almost fifty years since the time he had submitted "roughs" for approval by the syndicate. Instead, he would submit finished strips. In fact, his mistakes were so rare, the syndicate wouldn't change so much as a comma without his OK. The comic was always been his and his alone.
Charles Schulz died on February 12, 2000, in Santa Rosa, California, of complications due to colon cancer. He was 77 years old at the time. It was only hours before his last original PEANUTS strip was to appear in Sunday newspapers.
Today, PEANUTS lives on as one of the most successful comic strips in newspaper history, appearing in some 2,600 newspapers in 75 countries and translated into 21 languages."
Friendship is virtually impossible to define, in part, because it wears so many different faces and comes in all sizes and shapes. Over the course of a lifetime, friendship is always present in our lives, if we chose to accept and celebrate that fact and the people who symbolize one of the cornerstones of our existence. Women's friendships are finally receiving a recognition and respect they did not always have. We're learning more about the influence in our lives and the impact on each of us that unique bond called friendship can mean. We understand all the expressions pertaining to the vessel we call Friend Ship:
Anyone who has friends is never poor. (unknown origin)
Sorrow shared is halved and joy shared is doubled (unknown origin) Those are just for starters.
Why not take a minute and pay tribute to a special friend with the Eve's Angel Award? Quick, easy and free! Suitable for framing.
Check out the Friendship section of the Neat Women Inc online greeting card center:
Don't forget—all the these pages you can quickly and easily send to a friend…..
The pages at Neat Women Inc celebrating friendship, include the following:
Friendship movie of the day: "The Big Chill"
Friendship book of the day: "Friendshifts" by Dr. Jan Yager
International Friendship Week is February 17-24
In searching for information about Friendship Week, we discovered that, to borrow a phrase from Ernest Hemingway, it's "a moveable feast." In the year just past, it appears there were observances of this event in March and August. Frankly, at Neat Women Inc, every week is friendship focused. Furthermore, we've archived a couple of articles related to the matter. In our younger days, we were often lead to believe that "other women" were the enemy: www.neatwomeninc.com/competition.shtml" and the only true friends were those who shared in our misery based on their unhappiness about the same things. It was a sisterhood of cynicism…we felt ugly, unloved, unappreciated and thwarted by the success of girls with all the right credentials: perfect hair, perky facial features, and enough crinolines under their poodle skirts to launch them into orbit if a major wind came along! Which is exactly the fate we secretly wished on them as we commiserated with each other.
Additionally, we frequently became convinced that we were all "Women As Our Own Worst Enemies" www.neatwomeninc.com/jan_2000.shtml Books chronicling our frustrations, centered around the theory that we didn't actually like one another and until the women's movement in the early 70's exploded that myth www.neatwomeninc.com/confusion.shtml it was true that we were not inclined to automatically trust each other (hey, we didn't even trust ourselves).
By the end of the 20th Century, women's friendships had become more topical than perhaps ever before in history. Which is one reason we've succeeded in breaking through so many barriers, heretofore, considered impenetrable for members of the "fairer sex." Gender equity is no longer a laughing matter and our voices raised in unison have brought great strides in most major societal institutions. We always suspected there would "strength in numbers" but for centuries did not have the fortitude to test that skepticism.
Well, look out world, we're here to stay and our friendships are empowering, enriching and energizing us in ways we never before dreamed they might! Furthermore, the bonds with other women we've forged across a lifetime are enabling us to tackle such daunting propositions as aging with true grit---and a lot of grins! Chick trips, chick flicks, and all things female are popular and even profitable. We've rediscovered the joys of "slumber parties" and the sheer exuberance of being able to say, "We've been friends for more than 25 years!" At 50, we can call ourselves girlfriends once again! One of our favorite books is "Hot Flashes" by Barbara Raskin, but unhappily it is no longer in print and hard to find. It's the story of four women (depression era babies—born before 1940) who are brought together unexpectedly upon the sudden death of one of them. It begins, "Eventually most of our husbands were listed in Who's Who. We wanted everything, got it all, and then discovered it wasn't enough. We have read and written many of the books about women like us and the way we live now. Politically alienated, we squandered much of our energy. We are a generation of Type A, A List, Number 10-—type women. We were such good friends. Really. We still are."
The story takes these friends through the grieving process made more complex by the chaos in their lives, during which they revel in nostalgia and bemoan lost opportunities and unhappy mistakes. Yet, while coming out on the other side heartened by the fact throughout all the turmoil they remained friends, they make a surprising discovery.
Friends can disagree, even quarrel and compete and still maintain the often-fragile thread that ties them altogether. In fact, that strand can become so powerful it winds it's way into a fabric that makes up the patchwork quilt of our lives.
The other most compelling testimony to the relation--ship we consider more of a port in any storm than a vessel, is offered in the eulogies delivered by the deceased woman's grown children. Her daughter, "For us, maybe her greatest gift is that I'm not afraid of being a woman and my brother David is not afraid of women." Her son David, "The other thing I want to say is that she had some really good girlfriends and I'm really glad…" he chokes up, stops, waits, goes on—"that they want to carry my mom's coffin, because really she'd like that a lot and I don't think me or even my dad or any of my friends who are here today could do it, because even though we might be stronger, we're all pretty shaky. But I know my mom's girlfriends can do it, because"—he chokes again—"they're pretty strong for women." He looks down at us, surveys the row in which we're sitting, "What I mean is that they are pretty strong women."
Yes, we are sturdier than any of us previously realized or believed. We now openly talk about it, act on it and have finally stopped apologizing for it! We are also indebted to historical women's friendships. Without Elizabeth Cady Stanton and her close confidant, Susan B. Anthony, we conceivably could still be struggling for the right to vote today! In their absence it certainly wouldn't have happened as early as 1920. Imagine what those two friends could accomplish today? President and Vice President perhaps?
We would like to award several friendship books this week, to women who are willing to share the story of their best ones. A 300-word minimum, no maximum, account of what all your women friends mean to you or perhaps a woman who has been a lifetime friend. The winning essayist will win two books on friendship, "For My Friend" by Kim Anderson and "A Lifetime of Friendship" by Emily Williams-Wheeler. Simply send your entry to email@example.com
"Friendship is the bread of the heart." Mary Russell Mitford (1853)
Why not take a minute and pay tribute to a special friend with the Eve's Angel Award? Quick, easy and free! Suitable for framing.
Check out the Friendship section of the Neat Women Inc online greeting card center:
Don't forget—all the these pages you can quickly and easily send to a friend…..
The pages at Neat Women Inc celebrating friendship, include the following:
THE RULES FOR BEING HUMAN
WHEN YOU WERE BORN, YOU DIDN'T COME WITH AN OWNER'S MANUAL:
THESE GUIDELINES HELP MAKE LIFE WORK BETTER.
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but make the best of it, because it's going to be with you the rest of your life.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life on Planet Earth. Every person or incident is the universal teacher.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. "Failures" are as much a part of the process as "success".
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it - then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. If you don't learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state; pain is how your sub-conscious gets your attention. First it whispers, then it yells. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes.
6. You will know you've learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice, practice, practice. And remember: A little bit of something is better than a lot of nothing.
7. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" becomes a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that again looks better than "here".
8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
9. Your life is up to you. Spirit provides the canvas; you do the painting. There are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened. Take charge of your life - or someone else will.
10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious - rightfully - determines what energies, experiences and people you attract. Therefore the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have.
11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Corollary law: No one gets away with anything. Everything has a value - and a price; you pay now or you pay later.
12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the laws of spirit are written. You must know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
13. You will tend to forget all this. That's why it's good to remind one another.
From Neat Women Inc And, a final reminder for every stage of life: When you stumble, make it part of the dance!
Too much of the world is run on the theory that you don't need road manners if you're a five-ton truck!
If we're really being observed by people from outer space...why don't we hear them giggling? - Orben's Comedy Fillers
STAND UP TO BE SEEN
SPEAK UP TO BE HEARD
SIT DOWN TO BE APPRECIATED
BLESSED ARE THE FLEXIBLE...
FOR THEY SHALL NEVER BE BENT OUT OF SHAPE. Anonymous
Excerpts from High School Final Exams in History
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in The Illiad by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses undured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man by that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athen's was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be king. Nero was a cruel tyrant who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them. In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were The Nina, The Pinta, and The Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called The Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their backs. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. Shakespeare never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors. In one of Shakespeare's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady MacBeth tries to convince MacBeth to kill the king by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife dies and he wrote "Paradise Regained."
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he has an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "Hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, becoming excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
Meanwhile in Europe, the Enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy." Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes.
Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained.
He wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the war, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the father of our country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was president, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the fourteenth amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
The scary part of that is that it is more unnerving than funny because it was actually taken from the exam results of many students—we might feel better if just one pupil had come up with all of that. Our spell check blew a gasket also…..they misspelled words are truly scary!!
Valentine's Day . . . celebrated in one way or another since the days of ancient Rome.
The Roman fertility festival Lupercalia, celebrated in February, was co-opted by the early Christians, and named for St. Valentine. Why him?
Well, according to one story, Emperor Claudius II banned new marriages in 270 A.D., believing that married men made for ineffective warriors.
In direct defiance of this order, Bishop Valentine began marrying young lovers in secret. But when the emperor learned of his actions, he had him arrested, and eventually ordered him stoned to death on February 14th. So we celebrate Valentine's Day—in honor of a man who died for love.
Of course, murder and mayhem are also associated with this date. The St. Valentine's Day Massacre in Chicago when six mobsters of Bugsy Moran's gang were lined up and shot to death. Jimmy Hoffa was born on this day in 1913 and of course no one knows with certainty when or where he was killed.
For anyone harboring the hope that this day for lovers, might inspire a spouse, significant other or object of your affection to "shape up" even if only temporarily….here's a guide:
HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND/SIGNIFICANT OTHER/FILL IN THE BLANK ...
** He consistently spills things in the same location as to avoid making more than one stain in the carpet.
** He sees to it that he doesn't always sit in the same place on the couch, to avoid making those unsightly twin-divots.
** He masters the art of halfway-communication so that he can watch TV and still answer: uh huh, oh, I see what you mean, etc. at the right time.
** He is able to avoid use of the same excuse two-times-in-a-row.
** He has learned that a new vacuum cleaner, iron, etc. do not make acceptable anniversary presents.
** Admits with only minor prodding that watching Monday Night Football together does not constitute a "date" or family home evening (where applicable).
** Has learned all of the children's' names so that he doesn't have to refer to them as, "Hey, you there".
** Knows the proper time to give a sincere compliment and also the proper time to say something such as, "Its definitely an interesting dress."
Now we'll confess—we believe in love and think this woman expressed it the most eloquently and memorably!
Sonnets from the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning XLIII
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life !--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "Sonnets from the Portuguese" was originally published in 1850 in a two volume publication entitled Poems.
"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination, and then they both speak of it as an affair of the heart." Helen Rowland
Tomorrow is the computer's birthday. Honest! We don't make this stuff up. The world's first all-electronic computer was unveiled at the University of Pennsylvania's Moore School of Electrical Engineering in 1946. The Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer—ENIAC for short—weighed thirty tons, stood ten feet tall (about the size of a motor home), and could calculate a ballistic trajectory in thirty seconds. It took only nine years for mathematician Alan M. Turing's idea—which he had conceived while taking a walk in a scenic rural English cow pasture—to become a reality.
How often do you use the computer? Daily? Couple of times a week? How long do stay online as a rule? What is your primary usage of the computer? Information, entertainment, or shopping?
For those who grew up with the Fab Four from Liverpool, England, we offer the following:
IF THE BEATLES USED COMPUTERS
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
Hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
And I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?
All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
It takes a while...
All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
Crashes the system and loses six hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.
All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
If you vividly recall the Beatles, you may find humor in this—and you may be the appropriate age….
FOR COMPUTER USERS OVER 50
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the father of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-in. floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. - Janet Reno, US Attorney General, 02-27-98
All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. -- IBM maintenance manual (1925) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. - Bank of America Tech support
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form." - New York Times, November 26, 1991
Read this and let it sink in, THEN CHOOSE HOW YOU START YOUR DAY.
Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or ...
you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...
I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.
The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my soon to be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...
I could choose to die.
I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. "Yes, I replied." The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. You have two choices now:
1. Forget about this, or:
2. Send it to someone you care about. (There's a Send to Friend icon on this page)
You know the choice we made.
"A happy woman is one who has no cares at all; a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down." Beverly Sills
If mother—as the saying goes—was the necessity of invention, then today could be a Mother's Day of sorts. This was the day a man who lived by his own scientific inventions, inspired by the natural curiosity he had developed in his youth, was born. Thomas Alva Edison was born on this day in 1847 in Milan, Ohio. And for some years, the occasion of his birth was observed as National Science Youth Day.
From www.historychannel.com "Consider this: a single gunshot that could have prevented an entire war. It's 1889. Annie Oakley is performing her famous trick-shooting act. Suddenly a prominent local citizen steps out of the crowd, and challenges Annie to shoot the tip off a cigar—while he holds it. Wild West bravado compels her to accept.
Anxiously, she paces off the distance, regretting last night's whiskey! Shaking, she takes aim—and fires. The bullet cuts the cigar, and the crowd roars with delight. The show was in Berlin. The man? None other than the young Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany. Had the bullet strayed off course, the belligerent ruler who helped launch World War I might never have had the chance."
Wait a minute. Is the implication that a woman was responsible for World War I? Give us a break!
This is a double landmark day for the Episcopal Church. First, in 1531, King Henry VIII was officially recognized as the Church of England's supreme head. The dispute between the king and the Vatican escalated with this radical act. But certainly even the non-conforming Henry would have been alarmed when Barbara Harris became the first consecrated female bishop in the Episcopal Church over four and a half centuries later. In 1989, the ceremony—held in Boston, Massachusetts—signaled the end of the long held tradition that only male clergy could rise through the Church's ranks.
In Great Britain, the separation of Church and State had been disputed for nearly five centuries until King Henry VIII declared himself as the Church of England's supreme head on this day in 1531. But reform—both spiritual and political—has occurred more than once on this day. In 1975, Margaret Thatcher became the first female head of the British Conservative Party. And fourteen years later, in 1989, Harris became the first female bishop.
The Vatican gained its independence on this day in 1929. The seat of the Roman Catholic Church—situated in the center of Italy's capital—was not a separate entity even though its interests spread far beyond the borders of its host nation. But when the Italian government signed the Lateran Treaty, Vatican City gained sovereignty. It was a fortuitous event. In less than a decade, Italy's fascist government expanded its interests and influence in a very different direction."
Rachel Henderlite became minister of the All Souls Presbyterian Church in Richmond, Virginia, in 1965 after unanimous approval by the 125 commissioners in the Richmond presbytery. In 1976 Reverend Henderlite became the first president of the Presbyterian Council of Church Union.
Barbara Andrews, a paraplegic, became the first woman to be ordained a minister in the American Lutheran Church in 1970. She began her ministry in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and also served as acting pastor of the Resurrection Lutheran Church in Detroit, Michigan.
Reverend Beverly Messenger-Harris (not Barbara Harris) became the first woman rector in the Episcopal Church when she was appointed rector of Gethsemane Episcopal Church in Sherrill, New York.
"People are as severe toward the clergy as toward women; they want to see absolute devotion to duty from both." Madame de Stael
"It has always seemed very odd to me that this particular sphere of activity should remain a male closed shop, seeing that, to judge from church attendance, women are the more religious sex—while our criminal statistics make quite clear that they are the least wicked." Mary Stocks
"Governments may change, and opinions, and the very appearance of lands themselves, but the slowest thing to change is religion. What has once been associated with worship becomes holy in itself, and self-perpetuating." Elizabeth Coatsworth
For any new visitors to the Neat Women Inc neighborhood—the above is EVE'S coded message to her daughter (who lives 1100 miles away) I Love You Catherine, Mommy
Subject: 57 CHEVY
When the worst thing you could do at school was smoke in the bathrooms, flunk a test or chew gum. And the banquets were in the cafeteria and we danced to a juke box later, and all the girls wore fluffy pastel gowns and the boys wore suits for the first time and we were allowed to stay out till 12 p.m.
When a '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car. . . to cruise, peel out, lay rubber and watch drag races, and people went steady and girls wore a class ring with an inch of wrapped dental floss or yarn coated with pastel frost nail polish so it would fit her finger. And no one ever asked where the car keys were 'cause they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked. And you got in big trouble if you accidentally locked the doors at home, since no one ever had a key.
Remember lying on your back on the grass with your friends and saying things like "That cloud looks like a..." And playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game. Back then, baseball was not a psychological group learning experience-it was a game. Remember when stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals 'cause no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger. And...with all our progress...don't you just wish...just once...you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace...and share it with the children of the 80's and 90's...and the 21st century!
So send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Laurel & Hardy, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger,
The Shadow Knows, Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk as well as the sound of a real mower on Saturday morning, and summers filled with bike rides, playing in cowboy land, baseball games, bowling and visits to the pool...and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar. When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive by shootings,drugs, gangs,etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we all survived because their love was greater than the threat.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! And was it really that long ago?
"The past is never where you think you left it." Katherine Anne Porter
(Our Send to A Friend icon is on the fritz so you can simply send the URL http://www.neatwomeninc.com/todayst.shtml)
A Perfect Heart
One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it.
Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's Heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.
The people stared---how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."
"Yes," said the old man, "yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love – I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a Piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough Edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me.
These are the empty gouges---giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.
It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since Love from the old man's heart flowed into his.
They embraced and walked away side by side. How sad it must be to go through life with a whole heart.
Remember...Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching...
"Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold." Zelda Fitzgerald
"The heart outstrips the clumsy senses, and sees—perhaps for an instant, perhaps for long periods of bliss—an undistorted and more veritable world." Evelyn Underhill
THESE ARE ALL "OLDIES BUT GOODIES"—NOT UNLIKE SOME OF US!
IN THE BEGINNING -
In the Beginning...
God created the heavens and the Earth.
And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this." And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth."
And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created he them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's.
And McDonald's brought forth the 99 cent double cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them."
And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate.
And Woman gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them.
And he created sour cream dip also.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And Satan created HMOs
Quotations from women about women
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. --Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. Janette Barber
A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!" Linda Ellerbee
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. Lily Tomlin
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. -Geri Jewell
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies. Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. Rhonda Hansome
The phrase "working mother" is redundant. Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning. Catherine Aird
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME slow! Kathy Buckley
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee. Stephanie Piro
Behind every successful woman...... is a basket of dirty laundry. Sally Forth
From On This Day in History, yet another illustration of our frustration:
"1804 John Deere was born.
1812 Charles Dickens was born.
1882 John L. Sullivan won the last bare-knuckle heavyweight boxing championship.
1885 Sinclair Lewis was born.
1906 China's last emperor was born."
Hello!? Where are the women? At least we know where some of us were on this date in 1964 - Kennedy Airport in New York where 3,000 fans showed up to welcome the Beatles to the United States for their first American visit. Once again we're going to suggest that 100 years from now when a book such as On This Day in History is published, you will find far more women's names.
EVE belongs to a women's E-mail forum. That's a list of women who have signed up for an online, ongoing dialogue—most of the women involved with this particular forum are work at home, web business entrepreneurs. When a woman posts a message (in an e-mail format), everyone on the list receives a copy. Anyone who cares to can respond. Questions range from business tips to personal topics and the ages of the participants are quite varied. Recently, an exchange caught EVE'S attention. With the permission of the three women who carried on this "virtual" conversation, we are printing their remarks. Here's to every one of us who has ever had to endure, "Now, don't you worry your pretty little head about it," or words to that affect.
It all started with Amy—a neat woman who wanted to get something off her chest: "I run into a problem all the time where people think that when they contact us for technical assistance for their sites, they need to speak to a man. "I need the support guy" or "technical assistance please" and they are shocked that I am their support, technical assistance, etc. This is mostly men, but women do it too! Of course it makes me better at my job(s) because I try harder to prove that I do know what I am doing and what I am talking about. It is just very frustrating. They even go to great lengths to explain how they didn't know women could do that type of work well, or some other dumb thing.
GEEZ! I feel like we are still in the dark ages sometimes. What does it take to get people to see that we are ALL capable of ALL things, with the exception of physical limitations and obvious differences?
Venting...replies are welcome though!"
Then, along came Liz:
"Ha! It is to laugh!! Women can and do manage to do things that are 'traditionally' men's domain. For instance (I love my husband very much, but) he is NOT ALLOWED to touch my car to do mechanic work. I 'allowed' this one time and he applied too much pressure and broke a caliper on the brake. Macho man worked on those 5 ton, etc. vehicles in the Marines where you needed strength to turn something....my car needs gentle handling....lol. So now his job is to take it to the mechanic. I have learned to change oil, replace windshield wipers, fuses, lights, filters, etc...on my car due to necessity (between first and second marriage). Since I married a police officer who works more than he's home, and when he's home he's usually sleeping; I have replaced a kitchen faucet, assembled and hung ceiling fans, replaced light fixtures, fixed vacuum cleaners, repaired walls, etc.
Steve is proud of me to be able to do all of this on my own. It amazes his friends that I actually DO know how to do this and of course some of the wives have a problem with it. I've been told by one wife that I shouldn't be doing things like that because I make my husband LESS of a man. Go figure!
Amy, keep doing what you're doing...eventually men will come to realize that women have brains and can manage to do more than have babies and clean house. Although I wonder how many men could work all day and come home to clean the house, take care of kids, cook dinner, wash dishes and do the myriad of things that need to be done before falling exhausted into bed? Oh, and don't forget, you still have to have enough energy in your body to make love for hours! lol
Off my soapbox......
(OK—we have NO clue what a caliper on a brake is but we think it's pretty neat to know a woman who does!)
Now, Angie really had good reason to join the fray!
Hee-hee! I just had to jump in here. Boy, does this sound familiar. My "regular job" is as a police dispatcher, and even after all these years, it never ceases to amaze me how many people want to talk to "the man that knows something," or "the man in charge." Absolutely mind-boggling. Two things that happened to me in my early days have always been my absolute favorites, though.
I started at a very small department, where everyone did a little bit of everything. (Great experience, to say the least.) I spent as much time answering questions about city ordinances, state law, traffic ordinances, where to get dog tags, etc. etc. etc. as I ever did dealing with "real crime." Anyway, I had a man call one evening asking about parking violations. I spent probably 10 minutes explaining the ordinance and the citation to him, then answered the same questions at least 3 more times, but it was more than obvious that he didn't like the answer he was getting (which boiled down to "send your check to the address listed or show up on the date shown"). Was I *sure* that I was giving him correct information? Well, maybe I could let him talk to someone else, that *really* knows what the law is. Isn't there a man in charge there?
Well, by this time I was just about livid, but you can't just tell people they're being stupid. Anyway, I put him on hold and found the first male available to repeat what I had just told him--which, in this case, happened to be the guy from the janitorial service, who was standing there laughing at this whole thing. Scott got on the phone, told the man to mail his check in to the court clerk, and that was pretty much the end of it. We were just rolling at the idea that all it took to make this guy happy was a male voice on the phone...
Not long after that, I had a very similar type call from someone who also didn't like any of the answers he was getting, and began demanding to speak to "the man in charge." I told him the supervisor was out on the street and that I would be glad to take a name & number to have someone call him. No, by gosh, that wasn't acceptable. "I'm not hanging up until I talk to the man in charge, and I mean I want him on the phone RIGHT NOW."
I told him OK, but that I would have to leave him on hold until the sergeant could drive to the station to get to the phone. "And is the sergeant the man in charge?" Yes, the sergeant is the highest-ranking officer on duty, in charge of the shift. "OK, I'll hold." So, I get on my nice little radio and ask the sergeant to come in to please talk to this bozo. Sure, no problem. Sergeant gets there, asks what the problem is, I give a brief rundown of our conversation, and say, "He just isn't going to be happy until he talks to the man in charge." Well, I had probably the world's greatest sergeant, who was more than happy to let me listen on another line to the conversation. It started with my irate caller screaming as soon as he heard the 'click' when we got on the phone, "I'm not listening to some little girl give me orders, I want to talk to the man in charge!" (along with several other gender-obnoxious comments). And in return, he heard, "This is Sgt. Angie Young, what seems to be the problem?"
Lovely, lovely long silence...then, "Are you a woman?" "Yes, and I'm the supervisor on duty."
Even longer silence...."Um, never mind."
Well, Angie is a treat and a half isn't she?! We are still laughing. Reminds us again that as we said recently—sometimes the best man for the job is a WO MAN!!
Let's not forget our friend, Charlotte Whitton, mathematically gifted former Mayor of Ottawa:
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
And, there's Patricia Schroeder, who served more than 20 years in the House of Representatives:
"I have a brain and a uterus and I use both." (She had at least one child during her tenure in Congress)
"When people ask me why I am running as a woman, I always answer, 'What choices do I have?'"
On The Way To Today... February 6 is observed annually as the point at which the Winter Solstice is exactly half over. With what some may view as "annoying regularity" we highlight events of the day in history. This one is filled with so many noteworthy occasions and births that we'll just let that fact speak for itself. And, then, of course, Eve probably has some thoughts on all of it!
1685 - Charles II, king of Great Britain and Ireland, died; James II acceded to the throne.
1778 - France and America signed treaties allowing the United States to conquer Canada and Bermuda; France was allowed to take the British West Indies.
1788 - Massachusetts became the sixth state to ratify the Constitution.
1840 - The Treaty of Waitangi was signed under which New Zealand's Maori population accepted Queen Victoria's sovereignty in their lands.
1899 - The Treaty of Paris was ratified by the U.S. Senate by one vote, ending the Spanish-American War.
1911 - The first old-age home for pioneers opened in Prescott, Arizona.
1918 - Women over 30 and men over 21 won the right to vote in Britain as the Representation of the People Act received royal assent.
1922 - The Washington Conference between the United States, France, Japan, Italy and Britain ended with agreement on restricting use of poison gas and submarine warfare.
1926 - The National Football League adopted a rule that made players ineligible for competition until their college classes graduate.
1929 - Rudy Vallee and his orchestra recorded "Deep Night" (Victor disc #21868). It says in the fine print, under the artist's name, that the tune was written by Vallee, himself.
1932 - Dog sled racing happened for the first time in Olympic competition. The demonstration program was presented by the United States and Canada.
1933 - The 20th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was adopted, allowing the president to take office in January instead of March.
1937 - K. Elizabeth Ohi became the first Japanese woman lawyer as she received her degree from John Marshall Law School in Chicago, Illinois.
1943 - Frank Sinatra made his debut as vocalist on radio's "Your Hit Parade". Frankie had left the Tommy Dorsey Band just four months prior to beginning the radio program. He was described as, "...the biggest name in the business."
1943 - Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower was appointed commander-in-chief of the Allied Expeditionary Forces in North Africa.
1950 - For the first time, NBC radio broadcast "Dangerous Assignment". The show starred Brian Donlevy in the role of Steve Mitchell.
1952 - Queen Elizabeth II succeeded to the British throne upon the death of her father, King George VI.
1956 - St. Patrick Center, the first circular school building in the United States, opened in Kankakee, Illinois.
1964 - France and Britain agreed on the joint construction of a Channel tunnel.
1968 - Joan Whitney Payson was elected president of the New York Mets. She turned out to be a good luck charm. One year later, the 'Miracle' Mets became world champions.
1971 - NASA Astronaut Alan B. Shepard took a six-iron that he had stashed away inside his spacecraft and swung at three golf balls on the surface of the moon. Shepard whiffed the first swing, so, he got a 'Mulligan' on that one. The others were good, crisp shots that went, oh, a few hundred yards in the vacuum of space. Due to the bulkiness of his moonwalk suit, however, he didn't quite get enough of a swing to launch the golf balls into orbit. But he did take a couple of divots.
1972 - Over 500,000 pieces of irate mail arrived at the mail room of CBS-TV, when word leaked out that an edited-for-TV version of the X-rated movie, "The Demand", would be seen on the tube.
1981 - Former Beatles, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and George Harrison teamed up once again to record a musical tribute to John Lennon. The result of that session became "All Those Years Ago". The song went to #2 on the pop music charts for three weeks. It was recorded on Harrison's own Dark Horse label.
1985 - The noted French mineral water company, Perrier, debuted its first new product in 123 years. On grocery shelves and in trendy establishments, one could find water with a twist of lemon, lime or orange added to the well-established popular product line.
1987 - President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old, adding another year to the record of being the oldest U.S. President in history. President Dwight D. Eisenhower had been the previous recordholder, by serving the country from the Oval Office at age 70.
1993 - Tennis champion Arthur Ashe died of complications brought on by AIDS which he contracted from a tainted blood transfusion, adding to the urgency to create a "safe" blood supply.
1998 - Carl Wilson, the Beach Boys' lead guitarist and youngest of the Wilson brothers, died at age 51 in Los Angeles. He'd been diagnosed with lung cancer which then spread to his brain. Despite chemotherapy, Wilson lost the battle. During the group's publicized ups and downs with drugs over the years, Carl's steady influence reportedly was responsible for keeping the group together.
Who was born on this date?
1564 Christopher Marlowe poet, dramatist d: 1593
1756 Aaron Burr U.S. Vice President d: 1836
1895 Babe [George Herman] Ruth baseball d: 1948
1911 Ronald Wilson Reagan U.S. President, Governor of California, actor
1919 Zsa Zsa [Sari] Gabor actress
1931 Rip [Elmore] Torn actor
1932 Francois Truffaut director d: 1984
1933 Mamie Van Doren [Joan Olander] actress
1939 Mike Farrell actor
1940 Tom Brokaw news anchor
1941 Gigi Perreau actress
1942 Sarah Brady handgun control activist
1943 Fabian [Fabian Forte] singer
1945 Bob Marley reggae performer
1950 Natalie Cole Grammy Award-winning singer
1957 Kathy Najimy actress
Pretty illustrious group, don't you think? A bit of irony in the fact that President Reagan and Sarah Brady share the same birth date. It was her husband, James Brady, who was left paralyzed by a bullet intended for President Reagan, who also suffered a serious injury.
From Babe Ruth to Zsa Zsa Gabor is quite a leap and the historical events of this date, range from the sublime to the ridiculous: Alan Shepard playing golf on the moon and the first old-age home for pioneers opening in Arizona. We're not clear which pioneers.
Eve's thoughts on all of this? To quote her heroine, "Tomorrow is another day!" First person who writes to firstname.lastname@example.org with the name of that fictional character, wins a T-shirt!
With matters of the heart taking center stage this month, we think it might be timely to take a look at differing perspectives…..HIS and HERS!
Training Courses Now Available for Men
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? - You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away
7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back
8. Going to the Supermarket - It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill
15. Retro, Or Just Hideous? Re-examining Your '70s Polyester Shirts
16. Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware: No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True! She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond McDonald's
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Doesn't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diet.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
Perhaps you know why women over sixty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
I finally got my head together and my body fell apart.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.
Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.
Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes.
It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Age is important only if you're cheese and wine.
The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
"Wisdom is harder to do than it is to know." Yula Moses
February is Black History Month
It is the month in which we bear witness to the progress, richness and diversity of African American achievement.
During the 1920's an African American named Carter G. Woodson created and promoted Negro History Week. This period in February was chosen because it included the birthdays of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln.
In 1976 the month-long celebration was implemented, and is a time for Americans to reflect on both the history and teachings of African Americans whose contributions are still too little known.
Black History Month resources and links: www.kn.pacbell.com/wired/BHM/bh_hotlist.html#BHM
African-American Women Inventors of the Early 20th Century
Socially significant personal care items
In 1898, Ms. Lyda D. Newman patented the first hairbrush with synthetic bristles. Soon thereafter, two other African-American inventors revolutionized hair-care and created an industry. These women were Sarah Breedlove McWilliams Walker, known as "Madame C.J. Walker," and Marjorie Joyner.
Madame Walker (1867-1919) was a St. Louis washerwoman turned entrepreneur, who in 1905 invented a method to soften and smooth black women's hair using hot combs, curlers, and pomades---instead of a hot flat-iron. To market the system, Walker's "hair culturists" sold her products door to door, but also made hair-treatment housecalls. "The Walker Way" spread throughout the U.S.; but Walker's greatest coup came on a trip to Paris, when Josephine Baker, perhaps the most popular singer of the '20s, adopted Walker's method and started an international fad. Walker died (aged 52) a millionaire, philanthropist, and employer of three thousand [this a year before women got the vote!].
Marjorie Joyner (1896-??) began to work for Walker's company in Chicago in the mid 1920s. Frustrated, because only a day after her treatment every client "looked like an accident going someplace to happen," Joyner invented the permanent wave machine (patent #1,693,515 - Nov. 27, 1928). This was a dome-shaped device that applied electrical current to pressed and clamped one-inch sections of hair, creating a hairdo that would last a considerable time.
Joyner herself "never got a penny. . .but that's OK" from her invention, but later became Director of Walker's nationwide chain of beauty schools, and co-founded the United Beauty School Owners and Teachers Association (1945). With their "Pay While You Learn" policy, these schools have provided an accessible and profitable career for thousands of African-Americans.
Others followed in Walker's and Joyner's footsteps, founding beauty schools for blacks all over the U.S. Jessie T. Pope of Detroit invented the thermostatically controlled curling iron; patented it with help from Eleanor Roosevelt (1946); and founded a company to manufacture it (1958).
Walker's and Joyner's ultimate purpose was to improve African-Americans' appearance, confidence, and job prospects. It is true that all Beauty Culture is somewhat artificial and arbitrary; but it is also a fact that everyone then and now (especially employers) has certain expectations. As Joyner put it, "a good personal appearance helps people get and hold jobs. People need to make their own opportunities, and appearance is important." Thus it is no exaggeration to say that these women's inventiveness and entrepreneurship have provided significant social and professional benefits to African-Americans. "Not for me, but for my race!" were Madame Walker's last words.
Another Black History Month site www.infoplease.com/spot/bhm1.html
If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning "Good morning" at total strangers. Maya Angelou
In honor and memory of the seven astronauts on the Columbia space shuttle:
Commander Rick Husband, 45, Pilot William McCool, 41, Payload commander Michael Anderson, 43, Kalpana Chawla, 41, David Brown, 46, Laurel Clark, 41, Ilan Ramon, 48.
NATIVE AMERICAN PRAYER
I give you this one thought to keep --
I am with you still – I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone –
I am with you still – in each new dawn.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the vast circle of friends and family of those lost.
"Memory is the only friend on grief." Rumer Gooden
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about.
I just did. Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
The man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a meadowlark sang. But, the man did not hear.
So the man yelled "God, speak to me" And, the thunder rolled across the sky.
But, the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, "God let me see you." And a star shined brightly.
But the man did not notice.
And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle" And, a life was born.
But, the man did not know.
So, the man cried out in despair, Touch me God, and let me know you are here."
Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.
YOU KNOW IT'S A "NO FRILLS" AIRLINE WHEN ...
* They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
* All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
* Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
* If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.
* You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
* Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
* The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
* When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
* The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
* You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."
* No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
* You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.
* All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.
When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbecuing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them.
Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, > we think you should join our church and become a Catholic."
Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right.
Ole talked to the priest and they arranged it. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!" Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy.
But the following Friday evening at supper, the aroma of grilled beef was coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence they heard Ole saying to the steak, "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef" and as he sprinkled salt
Over the meat he said " and Now you are a fish!"
TIPS FOR MEN FOR SURVIVING PMS
Greetings Gents, I'm assuming that you suffer from PMS, not directly, but suffer none the less. Lets get right to it...
Q: What can I do to end the havoc created every 28 days?
A: Absolutely nothing.
Q: Will it ever end?
A: Sure, but you'll be so old you won't notice.
Q: Why is it that I'm wrong so much during this awful time?
A: You just are, cope with it. Someone must bear the blame.
Q: Can I just pack up and go out with the boys?
A: Only if you are heavily insured and have a death wish.
Q: What should I do to cope with this?
A: Glad you asked... (take notes)
1. Pamper your woman! Shower her with love and affection.
2. Duck (alot).
3. Let her vent. Remember, she probably doesn't mean it.
4. If #3 does not apply, you deserve every bit of it...don't whine.
5. Making dinner will lessen the trauma, take note: Burnt biscuits will only add to your pain - Order out.
6. Speak only when spoken to - Limit your replies to: "Yes, of course you're right darling" and "those jeans never fit better."
7. Educate yourself on the magic pills your loved one prefers, keeping them on hand is a bonus point for you.
8. Keep small children (and other helpless creatures) out of the path, keep the casualties to a minimum.
9. Gifts and "shiny" tokens of affection are advised, just remember these words: Tiffany's, Macys & Spiegel.
10. Always remember, you are against something way beyond your power ...
In the window of a Swedish furrier: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life."
Detour sign in Kyushi: "Japan Stop Drive Sideways."
In a Swiss mountain inn: "Special today - no ice cream."
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it."
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
At a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little man slipped through the door.
He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for Bernice."
"Bernice is your wife?" Asked the baker.
"What do you think," snapped the little man, "my mother would send me out on a night like this?"
That's all folks!
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