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Saturday, January 31, 2004



* They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

* All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

* Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

* If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

* You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

* Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

* The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

* When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

* The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

* You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."

* No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

* You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

* All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.


When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbecuing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them.

Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic."

Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right.

Ole talked to the priest and they arranged it. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!" Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy.

But the following Friday evening at supper, the aroma of grilled beef was coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence they heard Ole saying to the steak, "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef" and as he sprinkled salt Over the meat he said " and Now you are a fish!"



Greetings Gents, I'm assuming that you suffer from PMS, not directly, but suffer none the less. Lets get right to it...

Q: What can I do to end the havoc created every 28 days?
A: Absolutely nothing.

Q: Will it ever end?
A: Sure, but you'll be so old you won't notice.

Q: Why is it that I'm wrong so much during this awful time?
A: You just are, cope with it. Someone must bear the blame.

Q: Can I just pack up and go out with the boys?
A: Only if you are heavily insured and have a death wish.

Q: What should I do to cope with this?
A: Glad you asked... (take notes)

1. Pamper your woman! Shower her with love and affection.

2. Duck (alot).

3. Let her vent. Remember, she probably doesn't mean it.

4. If #3 does not apply, you deserve every bit of it...don't whine.

5. Making dinner will lessen the trauma, take note: Burnt biscuits will only add to your pain - Order out.

6. Speak only when spoken to - Limit your replies to: "Yes, of course you're right darling" and "those jeans never fit better."

7. Educate yourself on the magic pills your loved one prefers, keeping them on hand is a bonus point for you.

8. Keep small children (and other helpless creatures) out of the path, keep the casualties to a minimum.

9. Gifts and "shiny" tokens of affection are advised, just remember these words: Tiffany's, Macys & Spiegel.

10. Always remember, you are against something way beyond your power ...



In the window of a Swedish furrier: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life."

Detour sign in Kyushi: "Japan Stop Drive Sideways."

In a Swiss mountain inn: "Special today - no ice cream."

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it."

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

At a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."


It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little man slipped through the door.

He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.

As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"

The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"

"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for Bernice."

"Bernice is your wife?" Asked the baker.

"What do you think," snapped the little man, "my mother would send me out on a night like this?"

That's all folks!

Friday, January 30, 2004

At times in our lives, due to various situations beyond our control, simply getting through each day can seem reminiscent of "pulling teeth." We'd like to offer a thought-provoking example of overcoming adversity and the value of teamwork:


In the fall when you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in the "V" formation, you might be interested in knowing what science has discovered about why they fly that way. It has been learned that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~

Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go through it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the power of the flock.

~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~

When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the wing and another goose takes over.

~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~

The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.

~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~

Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gunshot and falls out, two geese fall out of the formation and follow the injured one down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly or until he is dead, and then they launch out with another formation to catch up with their group.

~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~ ~V~


The next time you see a formation of geese, remember... IT IS A REWARD, A CHALLENGE AND A PRIVILEGE to be a contributing member of a TEAM….such as a family, a group of friends or colleagues. (Webster defines team: a group of people working or playing together)

EVE has declared that she will NEVER again refer to someone as a "silly goose!" What about a personal approach to life—hurdling the obstacles (OK!! Who raised the bar??) on our own….some of the effort is indeed required as an individual.


If you have not visited ALL of our special friendship pages, you may want to have a look. You'll also find a quick and easy Send This to A Friend form at the top of each of the pages. Brighten a friend's day.

The Friend Ship
Click Here for the Friend Ship

Friendship Garden
Click Here for the Friendship Garden

Gardening For Insights On Friendship
Click Here for Gardening for Insights on Friendship

Life Saver Friends
Click Here for Life Saver Friends

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Politicians routinely emphasize two important issues on the domestic affairs agenda: education and jobs. Clearly, when we look at our mailbox and the messages we receive on a regular basis about such matters, we agree on their significance!


The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.

Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

A harp is a nude piano.

Personnel executives of 100 major corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

3. " A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"

6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

8. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

9. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumb-struck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

12. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

13. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

14. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

15. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."


"Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is impotence; it is fear; it is cruelty; it is all the things that make for unhappiness." Winifred Holtby

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

A group of Geography students studied the Seven Wonders of the World. At the end of that section, the students were asked to list what they think were considered to be the present Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes.

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State building
6. St. Peters Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn't turned in her paper yet. She asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The child replied, "Yes a little, I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were too many but I think I have them now."

The teacher said. "Well, tell us what you have," The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:

1. to touch
2. to taste
3. to see
4. To hear

She hesitated a little, and then

5. to feel
6. to laugh
7. and to love

Then the room was so full of silence it was deafening!

It is far too easy for us to look at the exploits of man and refer to them as "wonders"- while we overlook all God has done for us regarding them as merely "ordinary." May you be reminded today and throughout this year of those things, which are truly wondrous. Have a wonderful year!


"There is not way in which to understand the world without first detecting it through the radar-net of our senses." Diane Ackerman

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Our friend Jan just sent the following:

I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD: Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it goes... I decide to wash the car and start toward the garage, when I notice the mail on the table. I figure I might as well go through the mail before washing the car. I put my keys down on the desk, sort the mail and discard the junk mail. As I discard the junk mail, I see that the garbage can is full. I put the bills down on the desk and pick up the trash can.

Then I figure that because I'll be going near the mailbox while taking out the trash, I may as well pay these few bills first. Now where did I put my checkbook? Ah, here it is! Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in the other room. On my way I spot the soda I was drinking earlier. Hmmm, I guess I'd better take it out to the kitchen and discard it.

On the way to the kitchen, my flower arrangement catches my eye and I realize it needs more water. I go to the sink for water and pour the soda down the sink. As I wipe a spot off the counter I see my glasses on the windowsill. It's about time, I've been looking for them all morning. I guess I'd better go put them away so I can find them again later. But first I see the remote, but what's it doing in the kitchen? Aaaaagh! I'd better take it to the living room because we'll never think to look for it in the kitchen tonight.

I take the remote out to the coffee table and find the living room is a mess, so I go around arranging cushions and throw pillows. I'm off down the hall, to ... to ... what the heck was I planning to do?

End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the flowers aren't watered, the checkbook still has only one check, and now I can't seem to find my car keys! I don't seem to have gotten anything done today, but I just can't figure out why. Because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!!

I realize this is a serious condition and that I'd better seek help. But first, I think I'll check my e-mail....


"Paradoxical as it may seem, to believe in youth is to look backward; to look forward, we must believe in age." Dorothy I. Sayers

Monday, January 26, 2004

If you haven't broken all your New Year's resolutions by now—there's not much time left, so have at it! For every woman who has ever faced a Monday with dread, we offer this:


"Dear Lord... So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self indulgent. I have not whined, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged on my credit card. However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen, Amen and Amen."

The end of the last century did offer women an opportunity to reflect on how far they had come in many respects. One of those examinations of past versus present showed up in the following:

Life in the 50's vs. Life in the 90's
high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces and if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes.

Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.


Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crummy.

Prepare yourself: A quick stop to the Chanel counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he belches at the table. (Don't forget to use his credit card!)

Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and let her know you'll need her for an extra day this week. Tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.

Prepare the children: Drop them off at Grandma's.

Minimize the noise: When he arrives at home remind him that the washer and the garbage disposal are still not working properly and the noise is driving you crazy (but do this in a nice way and greet him with a warm smile...this way he might fix it faster).

Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Let him speak first and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Simply remind him that the last one home does the cooking and the cleanup.

Make him comfortable: Remind him where to find a warm fuzzy blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.

Make the evening his: ... better chance to get the washer and garbage disposal fixed.

The goal: To try to keep things amicable without reminding him that you make as much money as he does.

The up to date version is, however, filled with flaws! We don't know any woman who has a housekeeper—EVE'S daughter had a cleaning person who came twice a month and that was a big help, but then he moved away (yes, it was a man).

We do know more than a few Grandmas who would not be able to baby-sit on a moment's notice because they're on safari or trekking through the Himalayas (yes, we actually know women who've done both!).

Then, there are the legions of women who are now working at home—some have homebased businesses and others are working full time at homemaking. We've never cared for the expression housewife….we don't know anyone who is the wife of a house! There are a great many women who practice "homemaking" and we think it's a laudable vocation.

Erma Bombeck's book, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression was first published in 1970 and the term housewife was quite common then. In her introduction, she writes:

"The other day I went into the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to have my driver's license renewed. The man behind the counter mechanically asked me my name, address, phone number and, finally, occupation. 'I am a housewife,' I said. He paused, his pencil lingering over the blank, looked at me intently, and said, 'Is that what you want on your license, lady?' 'Would you believe Love Goddess?' I asked dryly.

In my lifetime, I have had many identities. I have been referred to as the 'Tuesday pick-up with the hole in the muffler,' the '10:30 a.m. standing in the beauty shop who wears Girl Scouts anklets,' and 'the woman who used to work in the same building with the sister-in-law of Jonathon Winters.' Who am I? I'm the wife of the husband no one wants to swap with."


(If you're too young to remember the wife swapping craze, our apologies.)

Sunday, January 25, 2004



Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.

Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it…in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

Saturday, January 24, 2004



You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!


"Sally," asked Linda one day, "what would you do if you caught another woman fooling around with your husband?"

"With George?" Sally thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."


A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price.

When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.

After five minutes or so, the salesman had enough and said, "My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother?"


You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge.
"Yes," answered the suspect.
"And what did you steal?"
"A dress, Your Honor," replied the subject.
"One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in four times!"
"Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect. "But my wife didn't like the color."


A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.

The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"


When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and doing the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." Laughter—it's free, healthy, and easy to do!

Friday, January 23, 2004

Two seminal events in American history occurred on January 24th, one in 1848 and the other in 1935. Both had a rather profound impact on life in U.S. and one continues to have considerable influence. Not surprisingly, they've each been viewed as a "boon to mankind" with the emphasis on the first syllable……"man".

From, On This Day in History:

"The lure of gold is a potent force. It enticed European explorers to brave the unknown on both American continents, Africa and Australia. Today, the prospect of gold attracts nations to claim portions of land near the north and south poles. A landmark gold discovery was made on January 24 in 1848. John W. Marshall found gold in a millrace of the American River at Sutter's Mill, California. When word got out, thousands of people headed west to seek their fortunes. The '49er gold rush opened the rest of the American territory from the Montana mountains to the Mexican deserts. It set the groundwork for the arrival of what we laughingly call civilization. A few decades later, the Yukon's gold lured men and women to battle the frigid, northwest wilderness.

The basis of growth and progress is the need to dare and do without fear of making a mistake. In 1899, lawyer-diplomat Edward John Phelps made a speech on January 24 in which he said, 'The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.'

A great modern-day convenience first went on sale in Richmond, Virginia, on this date in 1935. It changed the way men relax. This invention meant more wives were saved from abandonment in the evenings by errant spouses. Children were no longer sent off to the local saloon to fill their father's pail. Why? Because canned beer first went on sale in the U.S."

Now, what is wrong with that picture? OK, we'll cut Mr. Phelps some slack for saying "The man" rather than the man or woman or the person, because it was after all, the 19th century. Political correctness, notwithstanding, in that era, the word "man" applied to huMANkind. In the last half of the 20th century, use of the proper gender noun became such an intense issue that it often drove the sexes apart, rather than bringing us closer together.

We do have a problem though with characterizing canned beer as "a great modern-day convenience" which saved women from being forsaken at night and kept children closer to home! Come on! That depiction makes canned beer sound like one of the seven wonders of the modern day world….we don't think so. Furthermore, we don't know the statistics, but many women enjoy drinking beer as much as any man.

The point we're trying to make, however clumsily, is that history, at this juncture, offers a very different perspective for women and men. We're guessing that when, at the end of this 21st century, a book is written sighting historic events, women will command far more attention and be recognized as just as important to progress as men.

For example: the gold rush, has generally been portrayed as an exciting, albeit reckless, time when adventure was the high point. It does not necessarily reflect what that actually meant in the lives of the women of the period.

From, American Women, by Doreen Rappaport, "In 1848 gold was discovered in California. The idea that riches could be gotten with only a pick and shovel and a pan was infectious and irresistible. Within a year the population of the California territory jumped from 40,000 to 100,000. And in four years it had doubled. Prospectors came from the east and from Europe seeking gold, but few found the riches they had fantasized about. Some women saw the Gold Rush as an opportunity to make money serving the prospectors. They went west to set up boardinghouses and hotels. These lodgings were often no more than canvas tents on poles, but feeding three meals a day to thirty miners could bring in $30 a day, or $480 a month, a great deal of money in those days.

In 1850 California had about 12 men to every woman. Single and young, usually fifteen to twenty-four years old, the prospectors were delighted with women like Mary Ballou who performed domestic chores for them and were equally delighted by the women who served their sexual needs." Prostitution was a thriving industry for women and young Chinese girls were actually kidnapped in their homeland and found themselves forced into what had become a big business in San Francisco, controlled by Chinese men."

Not exactly the romantic picture we have sometimes been led to believe!

The woman most associated with the rejection of alcoholic beverages, Carry Nation, was reviled and largely ignored. When she died in 1911, she was buried in an unmarked grave. Ultimately, friends erected a marker which said simply, "She Hath Done What She Could."

Who among us could ask for a better epitaph than, "She Hath Done What She Could?"

"Gold has no name, it licks the hand of anyone who has it; good dog!" Christina Stead

"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living." Jean Kerr


"You can't drown your troubles….because troubles can swim." Margaret Miller

Thursday, January 22, 2004

With the United States weather forecasters anticipating the possibility of the coldest winter in recorded history, what is a poor golfer to do? Hope for a thaw and ponder the following:

Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may shed light on reasons why.

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.

Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.

Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

Professional Golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them up.

The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year than the National Football League does in two.

You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in the nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or more.

You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums.

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

Golf doesn't change its rules to attract Fans.

Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.

Golf doesn't have free agency.

In their prime, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."

You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.

At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.

Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can hit a baseball.

Golf Courses don't ruin the neighborhood.


"Golf is a particularly severe strain upon the amiability of the average person's temper, and in no other game, except bridge, is serenity of disposition so essential." Emily Post

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Today is National Hugging Day in America! OK, we heard a few snickers….all those skeptics and naysayers who think celebrating hugging just a foolish idea, consider the following:

This is serious business. Of course the greeting card companies love the idea—electronic offerings are numerous but they are free—so much for the idea that financial profit alone drives this particular occasion. Furthermore, for those living in the U.S., it presents an opportunity to get a jump-start in preparation for World Hug Week, which is scheduled for summer. We are not making this up! When we looked around in the virtual world we found, among other things, this surprising report.

"Hugging on Internet Returns!!! This site had been up and running for nearly 3 years. It was one of the first interactive 'postcard' sites available on the Internet. As of the end of May, 1997, a total of almost 80,000 hugs have been sent from this form, contributing to 'net karma' in a way never imagined by it's author.

The hug page was the single most accessed document on the web server it is based on, accounting for a staggering 90% of all access to the Learning and Teaching center. With the reorganizations of the departmental server, it was deemed unsuitable for an academic institution to be delivering more hugs than computer based learning material, and so it was shut down as of June 1, 1997. After all, it is somewhat embarrassing that on an academic site such as this, such a page accounts for such a large degree of Internet traffic."

The writer goes on to say that as of May 7, 1998, nearly a year after its demise, hugging had made a comeback and there was a new site. We tried to access it and were informed that it was no longer available. Apparently, there is a Scrooge of hugging out there someplace.

The Hugging Site offers this:

"Most of us have some type of difficulties in expressing ourselves or we just don't share our feelings enough with the people next to us. Often it's all because our western culture has this peculiar way to emphasize solidness and individualism in our behavior. One way to enrich communication, and as part of the best and sometimes even the worst part of our lives, is hugging.

Hugging is one of the most complex and many-sided ways of communication. Through hugs we can spread our spoken language to the language of wider expression. In different hugs we may speak of security, confidence, trust and sharing in a manner that no word can tell. In these ways hugging someone may also do good for one's self-esteem. 'WOW, he/she is accepting me just the way I am!' The precious moments of living also take on a new significance when we add hugs into them."

Our guess is that this Hugging Site is not U.S. based—under the title on the main page are the words, "Halia suomeksi" The first person who can identity that language and translate for us will receive an EVE mug. Send your answer to

One of the most intriguing sites we found, titled "Sir Isle The Armourless, Dedicated to all things warm and huggable," offered a vast selection of "Hugging Quotes" and poetry. We've selected just a few to share with you:

"Hugs grease the wheels of the world." Susan Freeman

"I don't discriminate; I'm an equal opportunity hugger." Sir Isle

"Always be the first to initiate, but never be the first to let go." Author unknown

"You can't wrap love in a box, but you can wrap a person in a hug!" Author Unknown

"Hugs improve your appearance and are good for your health." Author Unknown

"A hug is a handshake from the heart." Frank Petronella

"Hugs are the universal medicine." Author unknown

"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." Virginia Satir

"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immune system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.

Hugging is all natural: it is organic, naturally sweet, it has no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, and is 100% wholesome.

Hugging is practically perfect: there are no movable parts, no batteries to replace, no periodic check-ups, has low energy consumption, high energy yield, is inflation-proof, non-fattening, has no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, is theft-proof, non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable."

Pretty persuasive arguments we think for indulging! If you would like to send a friend a free, online hugging greeting, and click on Events and Holidays which is at the top of the page. Cards


BUMPER STICKER: "Don't bug me! Hug Me!" And, one more fun hug site:

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

The Tone Of The Voice

It is not so much what you say as the manner in which you say it;
It is not so much the language you use as the tone in which you convey it.

"Come here." I sharply said, and the child cowered and wept.
"Come here." I said--He looked and smiled and straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair but the tone may pierce like a dart;
Words may be soft as the summer air but the tone may break my heart;

For works come from the mind, grow by study and art--
But tone leaps from the inner self, revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not, whether you mean it or care,
Gentleness, kindness, love and hate, envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid and peace and love rejoice?
Keep anger not only out of your works--keep it out of your voice.

The Power of a Smile

She smiled at the sorrowful stranger.
The smiling seemed to make him feel better.

He remembered past kindnesses of a friend
And wrote him a thank you letter.

The friend was so pleased with the thank you
That he left a large tip after lunch.

The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,
Bet the whole thing on a hunch.

The next day she picked up her winnings,
And gave part to a man on the street.

The man on the street was grateful;
For two days he'd had nothing to eat.

After he finished his dinner,
He left for his small dingy room.

He didn't know at that moment
That he might be facing his doom.

On the way he picked up a shivering puppy
And took him home to get warm.

The puppy was very grateful
To be in out of the storm.

That night the house caught on fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.

He barked till he woke the whole household
And saved everybody from harm.

One of the boys that he rescued
Grew up to be President.

All this because of a simple smile
That hadn't cost a cent.



"Smiles are the soul's kisses." Minna Thomas Antrim

Monday, January 19, 2004

Some visitors may think it curious that we don't often devote much attention to "middle-age." To begin with, the expression "middle-age" as a description of some period in our lives, is a non-starter. No one seems to really know where or what it is exactly, and our philosophy continues to be—if you want to go there fine, and if you want to take a pass, that's also perfectly acceptable. We've suggested that "women of a certain age" might be between the ages of 45 and 105, but added the caveat—who cares? We do like the term, "aged to perfection." But, we think some of the cliches, such as, "the older the violin, the sweeter the music, are a bit "over the top." For one thing—consider the shape of a violin. We think not! We did, in our travels, stumble upon the following essay titled, "The process of maturing isn't all bad," by Phyllis Chubb.

"Sure, frustration takes on new meaning once our minds begin writing checks our bodies can't cash. But, that doesn't mean life is over. Rather, life has the opportunity to become different. Wise words from Desiderata, a poem filled with wisdom suggests we 'Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.' Although sound advice, the Desiderata does not contain promises of new beginning, of new opportunities we have to choose from, and there are lots!

The Moody Blues chant from the '60's 'Thinking is the best way to travel' remains as true today as ever and can be our ticket to adventures. Thinking however can become a lost art if we fail to practice the activity from time to time. During our middle years, family, work and simple living pleasures make it really convenient to settle into habitual patterns of thought.

Although comfortable and certainly convenient, it isn't long before mind rot sets in and we begin to think we really do know everything. Retirement and the process of 'gracefully surrendering the things of youth' gives us an opportunity to dust off the gray cells. Our local libraries are perfect places to begin the 'dusting-off' process. There we can find a phenomenal array of tickets for mind travel. Rabble rousing, as in the process of keeping politicians on their toes can be challenging, frustrating, rewarding and down right fun. If meeting a new set of acquaintances is high on your list….start attending local meetings, soon you'll know everyone there.

Writing, telling stories, making things, developing latent talents like drawing, painting, model making, or stained glass all can open new doors of discovery. So what if the level of productivity doesn't qualify for a place in the Guinness Book of Records! Then there is THE NET. The wonderful world of magical communication, information and discovery courses are available locally and are guaranteed to broaden horizons. So what if you can't type, the hunt and peck system works beautifully. The great thing about using a keyboard or a mouse for that matter means one is not limited because of restricted bodily motion. In other words, arthritis may slow your progress somewhat but will not prevent this form of learning or travel.

No matter what stage of life we are in, allowing frustrations to close us off from the world destroys our life whether we are 5, 25, 50 or 105 years old. The ability to travel in our minds and experience awe are not age bound activities."

We suspect that was written quite sometime ago (in cyberspace that could mean just a couple of years, as we all know). Bottom line—life is what we make it—a very overworked cliché but perhaps that's because it really sums it up nicely.

"Is it not possible that middle-age can be looked upon as a period of second flowering, second growth, even a kind of second adolescence? It is true that society in general does not help one accept this interpretation of the second half of life." Anne Morrow Lindbergh


"These years are still the years of my prime. It is important to recognize the years of one's prime, always remember that…...One's prime is elusive." Muriel Spark, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1962)

Sunday, January 18, 2004


~By Monique Nicole Fox~

No need to fuss or fight
or get yourself all uptight
cause God is like medicine
and will make you feel alright.
So calm down!

No need to consume yourself with grief
or rob yourself of sleep like a thief
cause God can lift your turmoil
and will give you heavenly relief.
So calm down!

No need to be sad, mope or frown
or let people bring your mood down
cause God's love everywhere
and the best inspiration in town.
So calm down!

No need to complain and think negative
or let depression cultivate and live
cause God has an abundance of light
and positivity to give.
So calm down!

No need to cheat, lie or steal
or commit suicide with an overdose of pills
cause God is the guidance you need
and can cure your life's sins and ills.
So calm down!

No need to dwell on what you haven't done
or races you haven't won
and unmapped goals
cause God has your life under control.
So calm down!

"Like water which can clearly mirror the sky and the trees only so long as its surface is undisturbed, the mind can only reflect the true image of the Self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed." Indra Devi

Saturday, January 17, 2004


If you have to return to an office on Monday, if you have managed to free yourself from the confines of ever working in an office again, if you have not at this point been required to work in an office at any time in your life…..if you're not real certain of what an office actually is…. We think you'll find some humor here and after the office silliness you'll find a couple of additional varieties!


In the past employees were permitted to make trips to the toilet under informal guidelines.

Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's toilet time, thereby ensuring equal toilet time for all employees.

Under the policy a "TOILET TRIP BANK" will be established for each employee. On the first day of each month, employees will be given twenty toilet trip credits. These credits may be accumulated!

Within two weeks, the entrance doors to all toilets are to be equipped with personnel Identification Electronic Stations (PIES) and computer linked with voice print recognition devices.

Before the end of the month each employee must provide two (2) copies of his/her voiceprints, one normal and one under stress, to the personnel department. The voice print recognition stations will be operational but not restrictive for the rest of the month. When installed, employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during this commissioning period.

If and employee's toilet trip bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the toilet will not unlock for that employee until the first of the next month.

In addition, all toilet bowls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors.

If the toilet is occupied for more than three (3) minutes, an alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the toilet door will open.

If the toilet remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will be posted on the notice board. Anyone whose picture appears any more than three (3) times will have cause for instant dismissal.

If you have any questions regarding this policy, please discuss with your personnel officer.



Q: What's the difference between your boss and the subway?
A: Sometimes you miss the subway.

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and your boss?
A: One's a relentless, pain-inflicting bloodsucker. The other's an insect.

Q: What's the difference between your boss and time?
A: You can kill time.

Q: What did your boss say to the cannon?
A: You're fired!

Q: What did your boss say to the calendar?
A: Your days are numbered!

Q: What did your boss say to the bridge?
A: You're suspended!

Q: What did your boss say to George Washington?
A: You're history!

Q: Why won't the postman go to your boss's house?
A: Because his dog's mean, too.


Useful in the Workplace

1. Thank you - we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and inexperienced.

7. What am I - flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

12. Yes, he is an agent of Satan, but his duties are largely ceremonial.

13. No, my powers can only be used for good.

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

16. Your idea seems reasonable... Time to up my medication.

17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

"Humor is a rubber sword—it allows you to make a point without drawing blood." Mary Hirsch

Friday, January 16, 2004


The #1 thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. The #1 outfit they look for is overalls. Many of them carry scissors to cut clothing and overall straps can be easily cut. They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their handbag, or doing other activities while walking. Because they are off guard, they can be easily overpowered.

The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m. The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office-parking lots/garages. Number three is public rest rooms. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged. It only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming. These men said they will not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon.

So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it. Several defense mechanisms he taught us are:

* If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk. "I can't believe it is so cold out here; we're in for a bad winter." Now that you've seen their face and could identify them in a lineup, you lose appeal as a target.

* If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell "Stop!" or "Stay back!" Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target. If you carry pepper spray, tell them. (This instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes.) Yell, "I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY, AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!" Holding it out aimed at their face will be a deterrent.

* If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If they grab your wrist, pull your wrist back so your hand is in waving position (palm facing forward) and twist it toward yourself and pull your arm away. It is hard to hold onto wrist bones that are moving in that way. They stumble toward you and you stumble back, so you can use that momentum to bring the same hand out and backhand them with your knuckles in the forehead, nose or teeth.

* If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh...HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands -- the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it. It hurts.

* After the initial hit, always go for the groin. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

* When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly. Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble. Better to be safe than sorry!! Never get in the car with them, if they want to rob you throw the $ or keys so they have to go get it, then run and yell "Fire." It's more effective than "Help." Never help a person with a van trying to load it himself and having trouble (with possibly a fake broken arm or leg), that's how Ted Bundy got 60 of his mall or grocery store parking lots. Be careful!

From: The American Civic Defense Association

The reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:

Lack of awareness (You MUST know where you are and what's going on around you.)

Body language (Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up.)

Wrong place, wrong time (DON'T be walking alone in an alley, or driving in a bad neighborhood at night.)

Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc. and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc). --DON'T DO THIS!-- The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.


-------A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage-------

Be aware. Look around you, look into your car at the passenger side floor and in the back seat. Check under the car as well. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

Always take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone.) Do not get on an elevator if there is a weirdo already on there (of course bad men don't always look bad). Do not stand back in the corners of the elevator; be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on. If you get on the elevator on the 25th floor and the someone suspicious gets on at the 22nd, get off when he gets on. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS run! POLICE only make 4 of 10 shots when they are in range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress. The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT, it may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Tips to saving your life, if you have gotten into a violent situation:

REACT IMMEDIATELY: If he abducts you in a parking lot, and is taking you to an abandoned area, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA. If you are driving, react immediately in the situation, and crash your car while still going 5 MPH. If he is driving, he must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him. It is your ONLY defense. While he is in shock, GET OUT. RESIST: don't go along with him: Run, if you are able. Scream. You DO NOT want to get to crime scene. DON'T EVER GIVE UP!

Always keep your distance when walking past strangers on the street or in dark areas.

GET A CELL PHONE: There are packages for $19.95 a month that allow you to program only 911 into the dialing out program.

BREAKDOWNS (Avoid this by ALWAYS keeping your car in good working order): If your car breaks down: you better have a cell phone to call for help, and lock your doors. Keep a blanket and a pair of warm clothes and boots, and a flashlight in your car always for emergencies. If it's noon on a business day, you MAY want to put your hazards on and walk to safety. If it's 2 a.m., put on your warm clothes and walk to a lighted area. You are a perfect target if you are sitting in your car broken down. Predators search the highways for easy targets like you. If you're on a desolate road, walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicle. It will be cold and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car.

Physical defenses that we can use against the violent predator:

The eyes are the most vulnerable part of the body. Poke him there, and you have (possibly) your only window of opportunity.

The neck is also a vulnerable spot, but you MUST know where to grip, AND HAVE THE STRENGTH to cut off his breath.

The last place is the KNEES. Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, and a swift kick here will take anyone down.

A cautionary note about these things: If you do not do these things right the first time, you are in trouble, because it will only anger the individual, and that anger will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU.

If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be) and you find him following/chasing you:

Scream "FIRE!" and not "help". People don't want to get involved when people yell "help", but "fire" draws attention because people are nosy.

RUN! Find an obstacle, such as a parked car, and run around it, like ring around the rosie. This may sound silly, but over the years, five women have reported that this SAVED THEIR LIVES.

Your last hope is getting under the car. Once you are under there, there are tons of things to hold on to, and he will not be able to get you out, and will not come under for you (most likely). Usually they give up by this point. The catch here is that YOU MUST PRACTICE GETTING UNDER THE CAR. You must have a plan (he will have one), know if you will be going under the car on your back or stomach, or from the side or back of the car. It must be practiced.

Never let yourself or anyone that you know be a "closer" in any type of business (bar, store, restaurant, gas station).

If you notice someone following close behind, find a brightly lighted place with people around, drive as close as possible to the public, stop, leave your lights on and honk your horn.

If you are ever stopped by a person who appears to be a law enforcement officer in an unmarked car—DO NOT get out of your car. Ask him to show his identification and look it over VERY carefully—another good reason to have a cell phone—call someone before rolling down your window to alert them to the fact that you've been pulled over. If the person is legitimate, he'll understand!

The Top Ten Things Every Woman Should Know about Personal Safety

This is important information for all females to know and to practice, and for men to pass along to their wives and teach their daughters.

Please copy and send this to the friends you care about; it's simple stuff that could save their life. If you read it a few times and think about the defense techniques taught, you will be better equipped to defend yourself in a frightening situation. Don't hesitate to send it to the men you love too. We all need to be better prepared.


You can also scroll down and send this page to a friend right now via E-mail—just look for the icon that says Send To A Friend. Final word—be alert, be careful, stay well.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

A tribute to a man gunned down in his prime and his widow. A footnote to history is this searing testimony of a student who survived the Columbine High School tragedy.

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was born on January 15, 1929, in Alabama. Dr. King, a black Baptist minister, spearheaded the civil rights movement from the mid-1950's until his death in 1968 at the age of thirty-nine. He organized the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) and gained recognition as an advocate of the Gandhian principle of nonviolent resistance. Through his efforts, national attention was focused on the plight of blacks, resulting in the passage of the 1964 Civil Rights Act and the 1965 Voting Rights Act. In 1964 King was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. At the time of his assassination, he was planning a Poor People's march on Washington. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday will be celebrated on Monday, January 21st.

Often, "the woman behind the man" is overlooked. However, in the years following his death, Coretta Scott King has devoted her life to carrying on the mission of her husband. She has persevered in quiet and soft-spoken, yet fiercely, determined fashion. She has no personal interest in "the limelight," and her every endeavor is carried out in the name of others.

The Coretta Scott King Award is presented annually by the Coretta Scott King Task Force of the American Library Association's Social Responsibilities Round Table. Recipients are authors and illustrators of African descent who distinguished books promote an understanding and appreciation of the "American Dream." Mrs. King's tireless efforts include a demanding public speaking schedule and she has written extensively, especially for young readers. Her belief is that education is a key to overcoming mistrust and misunderstandings between people.

A Columbine High School student wrote:

"The paradox of our time in history is that we
have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
we spend more, but have less;
we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life;
we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've
split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals; we've
become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of tall men, and short
character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic
warfare; more leisure, but less fun;
more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes.
It is a time when there is much in the show window and
nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can
bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose
either to forward this message and make a difference...
or just hit delete."

Regrettably, the name of the student was not included when that was forwarded to us. It's painful, isn't it, to realize our young people could be so disenchanted and cynical?? You can send a copy of this to a friend merely by using the Send To Friend button at the bottom of the page.

"We / do not admire what / we cannot understand." Marianne Moore


"The motto should not be: Forgive one another; rather, Understand one another." Emma Goldman Martin Luther King, Jr. Day online

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

To Whom It May Concern:

I am Hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided, I would like to accept the responsibilities of a six-year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.

I want to think M&M;'s are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art.

I want to lie under a big oak and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset.

I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in my youth...I matured and I learned too much.

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again.

I want to return to the days when reading was fun and music clean.

I remember being naive and think that everyone was happy because I was.

I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find.

I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to fix my car.

I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, Not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

I want to believe in the power on smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.

I want to be six again.

Build a better world said God
And I asked how?
The world is such a vast place and so complicated now
I am small and useless
What can I do?
God in all His wisdom said, "Just build a better you."
Author Unknown


"Life gives us what we need when we need it. Receiving what it gives us is a whole other thing." Pam Houston

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

A True Story worth reading A story for piano teachers! ( Actually, a lesson in life for all of us....)

At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines, Iowa. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a protege though I have taught some talented students. However I've also had my share of what I call "musically challenged" pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was11 years old when his mother (a single mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby. But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel. But he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, "My mom's going to hear m play someday." But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons. I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing. "Miss Hondorf...I've just got to play!" he insisted. I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right.

The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and lay a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my "curtain closer." Well, the recital went of without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it.

"Why didn't he dress up like the other students?" I thought. "Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?"

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major.

I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo...from allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause. Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy. "I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it?

Through the microphone Robby explained: "Well Miss Hondorf...remember I told you my mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning. And well.... she was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special." There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening.

As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, I noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil. No, I've never had a protege but that night I became a protege...of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil. For it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

This is especially meaningful to me since after serving in Desert Storm, Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995, where he was reportedly....playing the piano.

And now, a footnote to the story. If you are thinking about sending this message, you are probably thinking about which people on your address list aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. We believe that we can all make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities a day to help realize God's plan. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice Do we pass along a spark of the Divine? Or do we pass up that opportunity and leave the world a bit colder in the process?

You have two choices now:
1. Forget about it.
2. Forward it to the people you care about. (You will find a Send to A Friend icon on this page)


"One can present people with opportunities. One cannot make them equal to them." Rosamond Lehmann

Monday, January 12, 2004

Thanks to our friend Jayne for yet another bit of wisdom and insight!


On this day:

You will make an effort to

Mend a quarrel.

Search for a forgotten friend.

Dismiss a suspicion and replace it with trust.

Write a letter to someone who misses you.

Encourage someone who has lost faith.

Keep a promise.

Forget an old grudge.

Examine your demands on others and vow to reduce them.

Fight for a principle.

Express your gratitude.

Overcome an old fear.

Take two minutes to appreciate the beauty of nature.

Tell someone you love them.

Tell them again.

And again. And again.

"Life is a verb, not a noun." Charlotte Perkins Gilman

"I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good, or to make you feel miserable either. Life is just supposed to make you feel." Gloria Naylor


"Life is a succession / of moments / to live each one / is to succeed." Corita Kent

"Life seems to love the liver of it." Maya Angelou

Sunday, January 11, 2004


Two people sent this to us just this past week. Although, it offers a Christianity perspective, we believe it has value and the message is relevant for people of all religious persuasions. Any person of faith can find some inspiration here:

God Is Under The Bed

This is a very touching story with a very powerful prayer at the end of it. If you don't have time to read it now, please save it and read it later when you do have time. It's awesome.

My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped outside his closed door to listen.

Are you there, God?" he said. Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed."

I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will.

He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas, and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, returning to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme are laundry days, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.

He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores. And, Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. "That one's goin' to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

I don't think Kevin knows anything exists outside his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth or power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. He recognizes no differences in people, treating each person as an equal and a friend. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent.

Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure.

He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And He trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God--to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion. In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap-I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances-they all become disabilities when I do not submit them to Christ. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn. After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of the Lord.

And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed. Kevin won't be surprised at all.

Dedicated to Linda and the angels who care for and look after her: Jan, Richard and Hattie.

A PRAYER, THE POWER OF PRAYER. When you read this, say a prayer. That's all you have to do. There are no strings attached. This is powerful. Consider sending this to a friend. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards.


Saturday, January 10, 2004

This is a departure from the traditional silliness—it's truly profound because friendships are so special in our lives! If you've read it before—it bears another look.


I have a new delightful friend,
I am most in awe of her.
When we first met I was impressed,
By her bizarre behavior.

That day I had a date with friends,
We met to have some lunch.
Mae had come along with them,
All in all ... a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented,
We ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups.

Except for Mae who circumvented,
And said, Ice Cream, please: two scoops.

I was not sure my ears heard right,
And the others were aghast.
Along with heated apple pie,
Mae added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant,
As if people did this all the time.
But when our orders were brought out,
I did not enjoy mine.

I could not take my eyes off Mae,
As her pie a-la-mode went down.
The other ladies showed dismay,
They ate their lunches silently, and frowned.

Well, the next time I went out to eat,
I called and invited Mae.
My lunch contained white tuna meat,
She ordered a parfait.

I smiled when her dish I viewed,
And she asked if she amused me.
I answered, Yes, you do,
But also you confuse me.

How come you order rich desserts,
When I feel I must be sensible?
She laughed and said, with wanton mirth,
I am tasting all that's possible.

I try to eat the food I need,
And do the things I should.
But life's so short, my friend, indeed,
I hate missing out on something good.

This year I realized how old I was,
She grinned, I've not been this old before.
So, before I die, I've got to try,
Those things for years I had ignored.

I've not smelled all the flowers yet,
There's too many books I have not read.

There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down,
And kites to be flown overhead.

There are many malls I have not shopped,
I've not laughed at all the jokes.
I've missed a lot of Broadway Hits,
And potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water,
And feel ocean spray upon my face.
Sit in a country church once more,
And thank God for It's grace.

I want peanut butter every day,
Spread on my morning toast.
I want un-timed long-distance calls,
To the folks I love the most.

I've not cried at all the movies yet,
Nor walked in the morning rain.
I need to feel wind in my hair,
I want to fall in love again.

So, if I choose to have dessert,
Instead of having dinner.
Then should I die before night fall,
I'd say I died a winner.

Because I missed out on nothing,
I filled my heart's desire.
I had that final chocolate mousse,
Before my life expired.

With that, I called the waitress over,
I've changed my mind, it seems.
I said, I want what she is having,
Only add some more whipped-cream!


* Good times are even better when they're shared.
* A good long talk can cure almost anything.
* Everyone needs someone with whom to share their secrets.
* Listening is just as important as talking.
* An understanding friend is better than a therapist... and cheaper too!
* Laughter makes the world a happier place.
* Friends are like wine; they get better with age.
* Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on.
* Great minds think alike, especially when they are female!
* When it comes to "bonding," females do it better.
* Girls just want to have fun.
* It's important to make time to do "girl things."
* Calories don't count when you are having lunch (or any other food) with your girlfriends.
* You can never have too many shoes.

Scroll down to the bottom of this page for the Send to a Friend form!

"Be mindful that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships With people you love and respect."

Friday, January 9, 2004

Human destiny is at least in part what we ourselves make it. Amelia Earhart set out to do what no woman had ever done before on January 9th in 1935. She set out to fly across the Pacific Ocean—from Honolulu, Hawaii, to Oakland, California. She accomplished her goal and her destiny one day later."

The mystery and legend of Amelia Earhart is one that still captures the public's imagination. Our fascination, however, has sometimes overshadowed the essence of the woman herself and her personal perspective about life as an icon. We found a synopsis of her brief time in the spotlight which reflects her own views.

From, A Century of Women, by Deborah G. Felder:

"Perhaps no other woman in the twentieth century so defined a new role for women as heroic adventurer as Amelia Earhart. The aviator, whose flying record generated worldwide headlines and whose mysterious end has helped transfigure her into a woman of legendary status, set out determinedly to win for women the possibility of a life of action and a share in the great dramas of the century. As she recalled about her childhood reading, 'There were no heroines following the shining paths of romantic adventure, as do the heroes of boys' books…Of course girls have been reading the so-called boys books ever since there were such, But consider what it means to do so. Instead of closing the covers with shining eyes and the happy thought, That might happen to me someday! The girls turning the final page can only sigh regretfully, Oh, dear that can never happen to me—because I'm not a boy!' Amelia Earhart altered that conclusion for countless women, creating a new breed of heroines in fields of endeavors previously thought to be male preserves alone. Women civilian and military pilots, astronauts like Sally Ride and later women in the space program, as well as all women engaged in the struggle for equality and increased job opportunities can point to Amelia Earhart as one of the twentieth century's principal groundbreakers and mentors.

In 1932 Earhart became the first woman and only the second person after Charles Lindbergh to fly solo across the Atlantic. The event marked her as a hero of the world in one of the greatest accomplishments ever achieved by a woman. Earhart would go on to set aviation records around the world, enhancing her enormous reputation and asserting her influence on women for her daring and courage to pursue opportunities seemingly beyond the reach of women.

Born in 1898, in Atchison, Kansas, Earhart was an active, outgoing child who wore bloomers instead of skirts and pursued boys' activities such as football. At first pursuing a career in medicine, she was captivated by her first airplane ride. After taking lessons from pioneer woman pilot Netta Snook, Earhart soloed for the first time in June 1921. In April 1928, one year after Charles Lindberg's landmark solo flight across the Atlantic, Earhart was contacted by a group sponsoring a transatlantic flight that was to include 'an American girl of the right image' and was chosen to be one of three crew members of the Friendship. Flying from Newfoundland to Wales in twenty hours and forty minutes, Earhart, whose job was to keep the plane's logbook, became the first woman transatlantic plane passenger. Called 'Lady Lindy,' Earhart was embarrassed by the notoriety, characterizing herself on the flight as little more than a 'sack of potatoes.' Yet her newfound fame as the source of inspiration for the newly emancipated women of the 1920s firmly established her aviation career. She lectured extensively on flying and was a founding member and president of the Ninety-Nines, an international organization of women pilots, and became an outspoken advocate for women. As historian Susan Ware points out in her feminist study Still Missing, 'After the 1928 flight Amelia Earhart worked to portray her individual achievements as an example of women's capabilities in the modern world and as steps forward for all women. As Eleanor Roosevelt said of the pioneering aviator, 'She helped the cause of women, by giving them a feeling there was nothing they could not do.' In this was she made herself central to the history of feminism in the twentieth century.'

Determined to prove that women could be more than window dressing in the field of aviation, Earhart set out to prove that she could match Lindberg's achievement in her 1932 flight. Earhart would go on to become, in 1935, the first person to fly solo from Hawaii to California, the first woman to fly solo anywhere in the Pacific, and the first to solo over both the Atlantic and the Pacific. Her final flight was to be a twenty-seven-thousand mile trip around the equator, the longest flight in aviation history. On the most dangerous leg of her journey across the Pacific, Earhart had to find the tiny island of Howland, 2,550 miles from her departure point in New Guinea. Her final diary entry before taking off on July 2, 1937, stated, 'Not more than a month ago I was on the other shore of the Pacific, looking westward. This evening I look eastward over the Pacific. In those fast moving days which have intervened, the whole width of the world has passed behind us—except this broad ocean. I shall be glad when we have the hazards of its navigation behind us.' Radio contact between the plane and Coast Guard was intermittent. Finally, after twenty-one hours of the expected eighteen-hour flight, the Coast Guard cutter Itasca received a final message from Earhart that she had approximately thirty minutes of fuel left and had not sighted land.

No trace of Earhart, her navigator, or their plane was ever found, despite the largest naval search in history. That Earhart vanished without a trace, at the height of her popularity and in her prime, has fueled many contradictory rumors and theories. In one it is suggested that Earhart was on a spying mission and was captured and executed by the Japanese; another is that she is still alive and in hiding. No conclusive proof has ever been found to disprove the most likely explanation that her plane simply ran out of fuel and crashed in the Pacific. But the aura of mystery surrounding Earhart's disappearance contributed to the legendary status she has gained as a great American hero whose stature and influence are derived from offering women an alternative role of action and adventure at the cutting edge of occupations formerly restricted by narrow gender assumptions."

The fact that Amelia Earhart was fundamentally a modest person with a charming, albeit self-effacing sense of humor is often lost in the hoopla. She did not set out to be a heroine and was by no means a daredevil. She simply wanted to raise the bar for women as they began to strive more and more to experience opportunities which until then had been limited to men. She became a reluctant role model but did not shirk from pointing out that women were intent on breaking historical barriers and that she was hoping to be part of that process.

There continue to be reports of remains found on atolls in the Pacific—a rusted airplane part, a shoe print somehow preserved. If she were still alive she would be 103. The fact is, she will remain forever a 39-year-old of grit, passion, and perseverance.

"Amelia came into the public eye because she was an adventurer, but she was more: she was America's' sweetheart, America's shield. She did everything better than everybody else—beckoned us on, and set more records, and she did it seemingly effortlessly. She made us proud to be American. Perhaps because she was cut down in her prime—perhaps because she did not quite have time to fulfill her potential, we can't let her go. She is thirty-nine forever. She has become America's dream woman." Susan Butler, East to the Dawn.

"There are no signposts in the sky to show a man has passed that way before. There are no channels marked. The flier breaks each second into new uncharted seas." Anne Morrow Lindberg

"Hooray for the last grand adventure! I wish I had won but it was worthwhile anyway." Amelia Earhart, letter to be opened after her death (1937)

"Failure must be but a challenge to others." Amelia Earhart


We found more than 100 books listed at on Amelia Earhart. The most recent being, Amelia: A Life of an Aviation Legend, by Katherine V. Dillon and Donald M. Goldstein, 1999; also, Amelia Earhart: The Mystery Solved, by Marie K. Long and Elgen M. Long, 1999. Amelia Earhart: A Biography, by Doris L. Rich was published in 1996. There was also a work of fiction published in 1997, titled, I Was Amelia Earhart, by Jane Mendelsohn which is also on tape that was written in the first person and tells the story of Earhart and her navigator finding a small island, where they landed and ultimately perished. It made the best seller list briefly and EVE listened to the tape and found it fascinating.

Thursday, January 8, 2004

There is something pervasive in all our days that can be frustrating or satisfying, depending on our approach to it. There are daily reminders in various forms—something we wear, an object on the wall, the beside table, a piece of furniture—and many of these denote the presence of it with sound.…a buzz, or ringing, chimes or bells. If you haven't guessed by now—it's time. Most of us never feel as though we have enough of it or that too many others control it, but few of us can simply ignore it. At the beginning of a New Year it seems appropriate to consider the role time plays in our lives.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

Humankind has been intent on noting the passage of time for centuries. "Sundials were one of the earliest forms of telling time. One of the first ancient people to use sundials were the Sumerians. They divided the day into 12 parts and each part was about 2 hours long. They measured the length of shadows to determine how much time had passed. No one is really sure why the Sumerians kept track of time; maybe it was for religious purposes. The Egyptians also divided the day into 12 parts as well. They had used granite columns called Cleopatra Needles to keep track of time periods. They had 12 marks on the ground that equaled 12 parts of the day. When the sun touched the top, a shadow was created and the length and position of the shadow

Horology is the science of time, timekeepers (clocks, watches) and time keeping. Not surprisingly, there is a web site devoted entirely to that subject. if you have spare time in which to investigate the topic further.

But, that is the scientific aspect and we're suggesting a more psychological viewpoint. How do you spend your time? It is valuable currency, which we often fail to realize. The choice is ours. Here is a possibility: take out a blank piece of paper and think of it as your "time wallet." Start with a list: if I had my life to live over I would make more time for—and list five activities or people. Then remember that (and this poor old cliché is worn out but apropos) "today is the first day of the rest of your life."

How will you allocate your time? Think about the return on your invest to help determine how much risk there is in what you want to do and who you want to spend your time on—or not. Please don't forget yourself when you're thinking about time—what do you need?


"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations." Faith Baldwin
"Time heals all things but one: Time." Cynthia Ozick
"A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch." Jane Austen

Still struggling with the need for some closure as you begin the New Year and want to put the heartache of last year behind you, without forgetting the lessons learned? Two possibilities:

Wednesday, January 7, 2004

The following was authored by Philip M. Harter, M.D., Stanford University, School of Medicine.
Eve's thoughts are at the conclusion:


If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans

52 would be female
48 would be male

70 would be nonwhite
30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth

1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education

1 would own a computer


"When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for both acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent." Eve

One of our favorite story tellers, Robert Fulghum, who also happens to be a minister, related this episode in his "All I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten:"

"Giants, Wizards, and Dwarfs was the game to play. Being left in charge of about eighty children seven to ten years old, while their parents were off doing parenty things, I mustered my troops in the church social hall and explained the game. It's a large-scale version of Rock, Paper, and Scissors, and involves some intellectual decision making. But the real purpose of the game is to make a lot of noise and run around chasing people until nobody knows which side you are on or who won.

Organizing a roomful of wired-up grade schoolers into two teams, explaining the rudiments of the game, achieving consensus on group identity—all this is no mean accomplishment, but we did it with a right good will and were ready to go.

The excitement of the chase had reached a critical mass. I yelled out: 'You have to decide NOW which you are—a GIANT, a WIZARD, or a DWARF!' While the groups huddled in frenzied, whispered consultation, a tug came at my pants leg. A small child stands there looking up, and asks in a small, concerned voice, 'Where do the Mermaids stand?'

Where do the MERMAIDS STAND? A long pause. A VERY long pause. 'Where do the Mermaids stand?,' says I. 'Yes. You see, I am a Mermaid.' 'There are no such things as Mermaids!' 'Oh, yes, I am one!'

She did not relate to being a Giant, a Wizard, or a Dwarf. She knew her category. Mermaid. And was not about to leave the game and go over and stand against the wall where a loser would stand. She intended to participate, wherever Mermaids fit into the scheme of things. Without giving up dignity or identity. She took it for granted that there was a place for Mermaids and that I would know just where.

Well, where DO Mermaids stand? All the 'Mermaids'—all those who are different, who do not fit the norm and who do not accept the available boxes and pigeonholes? Answer that question and you can build a school, a nation, a world on it.

What was my answer at the moment? Every once in a while I say the right thing. 'The Mermaid stands right here by the King of the Sea!' says I. (Yes, right here by the King's fool, I thought to myself.)

So we stood there hand in hand, reviewing the troops of Wizards and Giants and Dwarfs as they roiled by in wild disarray.

It's not true, by the way, that mermaids do not exist. I know at least one personally. I have held her hand."

"It takes a disciplined person to listen to convictions which are different from their own." Dorothy Fuldheim


"No emergency excuses you from exercising tolerance." Phyllis Bottome

Still struggling with the need for some closure as you begin the New Year and want to put the heartache of last year behind you, without forgetting the lessons learned? Two possibilities:

Tuesday, January 6, 2004

Since one out of three people—or more, start the New Year with a strong resolve to lose weight, and knowing how fraught with peril that can be, we offer the following which you've probably seen before but it always elicits a smile! Thanks to Jayne for reminding us to revisit this chuckle filled list.


1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the diet soda cancels the calories in the candy bar.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. E.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. E.g. milk duds, buttered popcorn, junior mints and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.

8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.

9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons has no calories. E.g. peanut butter on a knife, ice cream on a spoon.

10. Food of the same color has the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I lost is two weeks." Totie Fields

"The first thing I did when I made the decision to kill myself was to stop dieting. Let them dig a wider hole." Gail Parent

"If one doesn't have a character like Abraham Lincoln or Joan of Arc, a diet simply disintegrates into eating exactly what you want to eat, but with a bad conscience. Maria Augusta Trapp


How do you view change? Do you consider it stressful, exhilarating, frustrating, satisfying or all that and more? Have a look at this CARYL……IT'S NOT CHANGE!

Monday, January 5, 2004


Have you thought much about the purpose of a paper clip? It holds together two or more pieces of paper. Really, it's nothing more than a piece of wire, bent in a special way.

In my desk drawer, I have a big pile of paper clips - probably more than a hundred. Not all of them are the same shape and size, or the same color. Some are big, some are small, and some are odd-looking. Even though I have used paper clips for years, I must confess that I often take them for granted. That means, even though they continue to do their job. I do not give them very much thought.

When I think of a paper clip I am reminded of our families. Each of us has a family. A family may be two persons; it may have two parents or may be just one; it may have brothers and sisters, or perhaps grandparents.

Our families help us to hold our lives together. They provide us with food, clothing, and shelter, along with companionship, help, comfort, and love. It is easy to take those nearest to us for granted, and not give them much thought or appreciation.

Is it possible that, like the paper clip, we sometimes take our families for granted. Thus, we fail to realize how important each member of a family is to every other member of a family!

Thanks to our friend Jayne for that bit of wisdom.

The Census Taker

It was the first day of census, and all through the land;
The pollster was ready ... a black book in hand.
He mounted his horse for a long dusty ride;
His book and some quills were tucked close by his side.
A long winding ride down a road barely there;
Toward the smell of fresh bread wafting, up through the air.
The woman was tired, with lines on her face;
And wisps of brown hair she tucked back into place.
She gave him some water ... as they sat at the table;
And she answered his questions ... the best she was able.
He asked of her children... Yes, she had quite a few;
The oldest was twenty, the youngest not two.
She held up a toddler with cheeks round and red;
his sister, she whispered, was napping in bed.
She noted each person who lived there with pride;
And she felt the faint stirrings of the wee one inside.
He noted the sex, the color, the age...
The marks from the quill soon filled up the page.
At the number of children, she nodded her head;
And saw her lips quiver for the three that were dead.
The places of birth she "never forgot";
Was it Kansas? or Utah? or Oregon ... or not?
They came from Scotland, of that she was clear;
But she wasn't quite sure just how long they'd been here.
They spoke of employment, of schooling and such;
They could read some .. and write some .. though really not much.
When the questions were answered, his job there was done;
So he mounted his horse and he rode toward the sun.
We can almost imagine his voice loud and clear;
"May God bless you all for another ten years."
Now picture a time warp ... its' now you and me;
As we search for the people on our family tree.
We squint at the census and scroll down so slow;
As we search for that entry from long, long ago.
Could they only imagine on that long ago day;
That the entries they made would effect us this way?
If they knew, would they wonder at the yearning we feel;
And the searching that makes them so increasingly real.
We can hear if we listen the words they impart;
Through their blood in our veins and their voice in our heart.

Author Unknown


"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." Jane Howard

Sunday, January 4, 2004


A Story To Live By
by Ann Wells, "Los Angeles Times"

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God. by Ann Wells in the "Los Angeles Times"

"Your life is the one place you have to spend yourself fully—wild, generous, drastic—in an unrationed profligacy of self….And in that split second when you understand finally you are about to die—to uncreate the world no time to do it over no more chances—that instant when you realize your conscious existence is truly flaring nova, won't you want to have used up all—all—the splendor that you are?" Robin Morgan, "The Anatomy of Freedom" (1982)

Saturday, January 3, 2004

If this appears to be an unabashed commercial pitch—there's a very good reason why—it is! We think you will be delightfully surprised by the quality and versatility of NEAT WOMEN INC products. Be a proud NEAT WOMAN – you've earned the right to brag!

Personalize your Neat Women Inc Shopping Experience with Neat Women Inc T-Shirts, Mugs and Mousepads! And, who made my arms too short for reading Changed my hormones from idling to speeding Packed so many lumps all over my body That now my entire shape looks pretty shoddy Wrecked my memory for anything short term Left nothing in my life the least bit firm Gave me crow's feet at intervals on my face And brown spots all over the rest of the place??? No wonder they call him "Father Time"- He certainly is no friend of yours or mine! But, we can have the last laugh now By having more fun than the law might allow! Caps, mouse pads, shirts and mugs We'll show him and his aging thugs! Take me to your leader EVErywoman . . .

Friday, January 2, 2004

Happy New Year, welcome back, and hopefully your year will get off to a promising start. As always, we're grateful to all the Neat Women who make this neighborhood a stop on their way to "slaying the dragons" of our every day routines.

You may be "back at the old grind," or you could have "returned to the salt mines," or possibly you're simply sitting there in front of the monitor thinking, "Well, it's a fresh year and where do I go from here?" In the spirit of acknowledging the value of a good sense of direction, we recently selected this medieval morality tale for a semi-permanent spot on the home page of the NWI site. It has been "gender altered" just a bit (the knight is a warrior princess and the King is a Queen in our stories):

This fable is about a warrior princess who returned to the castle at twilight in a state of total disarray. Dented armor, helmet falling off, face bloody, horse crippled, and the warrior princess herself about to fall off the limping horse.

"What hath befallen you, Warrior Princess?" asked the Lady of the castle.

"Oh, sire," answered the princess, "I have been laboring in your service, robbing and plundering and pillaging your enemies in the West."

"You've what?" cried the Queen. "I don't have any enemies in the West!"

"Oh," said the warrior princess, "Well, you do now!"


It can be rather useful to have "a plan" or at the very least "a notion" about where we'd like to be headed. EVE will be the first to admit (if you want to listen to her, that is), that she firmly declared she had no idea what she wanted to be when she grew up—until she was almost fifty—and the answer hasn't yet firmly (at a time of life when it can be hard to find anything firm on one's body in or in one's mind) come into focus (that could be a simple matter of having her bifocals upgraded).

And, of course there's that expression "that life is what happens when you're busy doing something else." There's also the phrase that "trouble rides a fast horse." We're actually not clear on what either of those means so we'll just "make it up as we go along" which is what any woman "of a certain age" becomes eligible to do. One of our favorite Neat Women sent us the following

about "Some Time-Honored Truths"

Those truths may be self-evident to some people but another of our Neat Women friends would like to remind us all of

The Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.


6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.



This purpose of all this, which by now you may have concluded, has no real benefit at all---is in fact quite serious: whatever direction you might be headed in, and wherever you may care to go, or whatever you hope to do…….Let your heart and head find the right compass and then allow laughter to travel with you. At this point, we look back upon times which were a cliché, so now we can capitalize on them. Let a smile be your umbrella, keep your sunny side up, go where there is no path and leave a trail and don't look back—you're not going that way!


"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." Victoria Holt

Thursday, January 1, 2004

Remember author Robert Fulghum's admonition, "When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together."

The following was our "wish list" for the year 2003……perhaps we needed to do more than simply "wish" for these:

May all the peoples of the world learn to live together in harmony.

May everyone on the planet come to embrace the philosophy that saving our Earth is even more important than traveling to Mars.

May what is good, trustworthy, kind and just, be viewed as the most valuable goal to strive for.

That people everywhere past the age of 21 years, come to appreciate the fact that our children and our youth are the hope for our future, and need to be treasured.

That violence gives way to understanding.

That understanding spawns compassion and acceptance.

And finally, may we all come to believe that how we live is who we are and we always strive to be the best that we can.

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it." Eleanor Roosevelt, 1951

"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." Indira Gandhi, 1972

"Peace is achieved one person at a time, through a series of friendships." Fatma Reda, 1991

Achieving peace has become more urgent and increasingly daunting a goal—whatever else we do this year, however, we must work toward that end with increased resolve.


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