HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM NEAT WOMEN INC
We can only wonder what Washington Irving might think of the recent (two years ago) movie, bearing the title of his classic Halloween story. Just to refresh our memories, we tracked down an online version—which is much too long to post here. However, it did bring us to a pretty spooky site and we offer simply the first paragraph and the last:
THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW
by Washington Irving
A pleasing land of drowsy head it was,
Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye;
And of gay castles in the clouds that pass,
Forever flushing round a summer sky.
Castle of Indolence.
In the bosom of one of those spacious coves which indent the eastern shore of the Hudson, at that broad expansion of the river denominated by the ancient Dutch navigators the Tappan Zee, and where they always prudently shortened sail, and implored the protection of St. Nicholas when they crossed, there lies a small market-town or rural port, which by some is called Greensburgh, but which is more generally and properly known by the name of Tarry Town. This name was given, we are told, in former days, by the good housewives of the adjacent country, from the inveterate propensity of their husbands to linger about the village tavern on market days.
The old country wives, however, who are the best judges of these matters, maintain to this day that Ichabod was spirited away by supernatural means; and it is a favorite story often told about the neighborhood round the winter evening fire. The bridge became more than ever an object of superstitious awe, and that may be the reason why the road has been altered of late years, so as to approach the church by the border of the mill-pond. The school-house being deserted, soon fell to decay, and was reported to be haunted by the ghost of the unfortunate pedagogue; and the ploughboy, loitering homeward of a still summer evening, has often fancied his voice at a distance, chanting a melancholy psalm tune among the tranquil solitude's of Sleepy Hollow.
If you're interested in the whole "gory story" as they say, log onto
www.halloweenghoststories.com
Naturally, we believe a bit of levity is in order to off set the gloom of specters of ghouls… This would be sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer," and if you don't know that one you'll just have to "wing it" as they say. (Those of us old enough to be Grandma's would never be so careless that this could happen)
Grandma Got Run Over By a Broomstick
Grandma got run over by a broomstick
Coming home from our house Halloween.
Now you can say there's no such thing as witches
But as for me and grandpa, we believe.
She'd consumed too many spirits
And we begged her not to go
But she'd forgot her Belladonna
So she sacheted out the door, we didn't know.
When they found her the next morning
At the scene of the attack
She had bristles on her forehead
And incriminating brush marks on her back.
Now we're all so proud of grandpa
He's been taking it so well
See him in there watching wrestling
And doing the hokey pokey with our favorite cousin Nell.
It's not the same without grandma
She's the one with the big black hat
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we divvy up her candy, or send it back.
Now the punch is on the table
And the pumpkin, it's so big
And the black and silver candles
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's wig.
I've warned all our friends and neighbors
Better watch out and keep a sharp eye
They should never have given a license
To a grandma who wasn't trained to fly.
Grandma got run over by a broomstick
Coming home from our house Halloween
Now you can say there's no such thing as witches
But as for me and grandpa, we believe!
Whoa—maybe we'll just lay low on this Halloween. You never know who you might run into out there!
(ILYCM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
With Halloween looming, we thought it might be useful to offer some thoughts on how to cope!
The best way to deal with Halloween, could be to adopt an attitude and you may find something on this list to your liking:
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Remember my name…you'll be screaming it later.
Of course I don't look busy—I did it right the first time.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes. (This one is EVE's favorite)
All stressed out and no one to choke.
Sorry if I look interested—I'm not.
^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^ ^..^
FOR COMPUTER USERS OVER 50
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the father of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-in. floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.
Author unknown
Computer definition: "It's like being in a library where someone has scattered all the books on the floor, attached them together with threads and you are in the dark." MorningSide, CBC Radio, about the WWW
(CILYM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
"On This Day in History", describes today's anniversary with more humor than irony:
"On October 29, 1929—as the show business paper Variety so tersely noted—Wall Street laid an egg. Stock market prices collapsed, and the twentieth century 's worst economic depression rose from its ashes. Many people believe that the Great Depression ended because the Second World War began. Everybody who lived through that depression tells their descendants that no matter how bad things are they were worse then."
It's probably true that never before and at no time after in the last century, have so many Americans been affected by such an economic tragedy. In an odd twist of fate, the rich were suddenly plunged into despair as fortunes were lost and lives shattered. It was an ironic equalizer—the playing field suddenly was leveled for everyone living in the United States.
In the years between 1925 and 1929, the prices of stock on the New York Stock Exchange flourished, more than doubling their values. These soaring stock prices caused thousands to start speculating or trying to buy large amounts of stock in order to make a large profit. The large amounts of money thrown into the stock market would end up causing "The Great Depression" in the United States. On October 24, 1929, known as Black Thursday, the stock market nearly totally collapsed as millions of people began withdrawing money in fear of losing it all. The following Monday the stocks dropped once again and on Tuesday a record 16,410,030 shares were sold. Thousands of people lost extraordinary sums of money and soon banks and businesses started to fold. Some men, so demoralized by the crash, jumped out of buildings. The great stock market crash of 1929 ended the period known as the "Roaring Twenties."
The stock market today has certain built in protections against that type of calamity occurring again and banks initiated similar measures to avoid such a crisis. The Savings and Loan scandal of a decade ago did not have the same ruinous impact on people's lives. In recent months conditions have had investors more than a little edgy because the Dow and the NASDAQ and the S & P have gone up and down like a roller coaster. But, the horror of the events of that day in 1929 is not likely to ever be repeated.
We learned long ago, to never say never. The tragedy of September 11, 2001 had a catastrophic impact on the American economy. We looked around and happened to stumble upon a song written at the time of the Depression, made popular by a young crooner, Bing Crosby. It seemed worth re-visiting as we read the words:
"Brother, Can You Spare a Dime," lyrics by Yip Harburg, music by Gorney Harburg (1931)
They used to tell me I was building a dream, and so I followed the mob, When there was earth to plow, or guns to bear, I was always there right on the job. They used to tell me I was building a dream, with peace and glory ahead, Why should I be standing in line, just waiting for bread?
Once I built a railroad, I made it run, made it race against time. Once I built a railroad; now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime? Once I built a tower, up to the sun, brick, and rivet, and lime; Once I built a tower, now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?
Once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell, Full of that Yankee Doodly Dum, Half a million boots went slogging through Hell, And I was the kid with the drum!
Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time. Why don't you remember, I'm your pal? Buddy, can you spare a dime?"
Did your mother ever caution you not to "Put all your eggs in one basket?"
(CILYM)
"Wall Street owns this country. It is no longer a government of the people, by the people and for the people, but a government of Wall Street, by Wall Street and for Wall Street." Mary E. Lease (1891)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. wwwnbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
Something to ponder:
A Perfect Heart
One day a young woman was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that she had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired her heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it.
Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young woman was very proud and boasted more loudly about her beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old woman appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old woman's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.
The people stared---how can she say her heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young woman looked at the old woman's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," she said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."
"Yes," said the old woman, "yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love – I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me.
These are the empty gouges---giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young woman stood silently with tears running down her cheeks. She walked up to the old woman, reached into her perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. She offered it to the old woman with trembling hands.
The old woman took her offering, placed it in her heart and then took a piece from her old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young woman's heart.
It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young woman looked at her heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since Love from the old woman's heart flowed into hers.
They embraced and walked away side by side. How sad it must be to go through life with a whole heart.
Remember...Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching...
"Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold." Zelda Fitzgerald
(ILYCM)
"The heart outstrips the clumsy senses, and sees—perhaps for an instant, perhaps for long periods of bliss—an undistorted and more veritable world." Evelyn Underhill
EVE TALKS AND TALKS AND TALKS AND TALKS
What we offer next, for your consideration and possibly even to tickle your funny bone (you may think it that outrageous and laugh at the unlikely possibility it would work), is something we can't attribute to a person or a book. EVE has had it for years and can't recall who gave it to her. In fact, she's the one who pointed out that reading it the first time made her laugh out loud—as in, "What a hoot!" In the first place, most of us regard rules with some degree of disdain. And, in the second place, there is nothing more hilarious than something that may be "a blinding flash of the obvious" but virtually impossible to put into practice. So, without further ado, we give you:
RULES FOR LOW-STRESS LIVING
1. Manage your time well; don't allow it to master you.
2. Associate mostly with people who allow you to relax.
3. Learn and practice the skill of relaxation.
4. Use an aerobic exercise such as jogging to condition your body and build health.
5. Manage your life as a total enterprise, much as you would manage a corporation. Seek rewarding experiences in all dimensions of living.
6. Engage in meaningful, satisfying work, but don't let your work dominate your life.
7. Maintain an appropriate body weight.
8. Form and keep sensible eating habits. Use sweets rarely, minimize junk food.
9. If you smoke, stop completely.
10. Do not excessively use beverage alcohol.
11. Eliminate the use of over-the-counter medicines and recreational drugs.
12. Have a periodical physical examination.
13. Find some time every day—even if only 10 minutes for complete privacy, aloneness with your thoughts, freedom from the pressures of work.
14. Don't drift along in troublesome and stressful situations. Take action to settle those matters that are troubling you.
15. Have one or more pastimes that give you a chance to do something relaxing without having to have something to show for it.
16. Open yourself up to new experiences. Try doing things you've never done before, sample foods you've never eaten, go places you've never seen. Find self-renewing opportunities.
17. Read interesting books and articles to freshen your ideas and broaden your point of views.
18. Form at least one or two high quality relationships with people you trust and can be yourself with.
19. Surround yourself with cues that affirm positive thoughts and positive approaches to life and that remind you to relax and unwind occasionally.
Yes, well they all certainly are commendable goals to strive for, but the first time EVE read them she immediately thought, "Not in my lifetime is all this attainable!" Her inclination was to also add a 20th rule: be kind to old people, small children and animals—now THAT is easily doable. Actually, 14 through 19 are not unrealistic and some of the first 13 can be accomplished without a real strain. The bottom line for everyone was once captured in a remark by a long time friend of EVE who said, "People do what they REALLY WANT to do." At the time, EVE thought, "What an innocuous statement." As the years passed and she pondered it, there seemed to be something more profound about that than one might guess upon first hearing it. The challenging lesson might be in figuring out and learning about "what we REALLY WANT to do."
Published in 1995, the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, refers to that self-excavating task. "Socrates's injunction 'Know thyself' speaks to this keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one's own feelings as they occur. It might seem at first glance that our feelings are obvious; more thoughtful reflection reminds us of times we have been all too oblivious to what we really felt about something, or awoke to these feelings late in the game. Psychologists use the rather ponderous term metacognition to refer to an awareness of thought process, and metamood to mean awareness of one's own emotions. I prefer the term self-awareness, in the sense of an ongoing attention to one's internal state. In this self-reflective awareness, the mind observes and investigates experience itself, including the emotions."
Natalie Goldberg wrote, "Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency." What happened to "Ignorance is bliss?" Perhaps someplace in between is a more stress free place.
(CILYM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
SUNDAY REFLECTION
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that his faithful dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch made from mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate made from pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? We have traveled far," the man said. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment, remembering all the years this dog remained loyal to him and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going.
After another long walk he came to a plain dirt road which led through a Farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water? We have traveled far."
"Yes, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and help yourself."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to his dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump; he is welcome to share." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them. "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold streets and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. We're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind in exchange for material things."
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." ~~unknown~~
SATURDAY SILLINESS
Rules of Etiquette for Inexperienced Cats
1. If you have an upset stomach, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Shag carpet also works well.
2. Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the evening. He won't dare push you off, and will even call you "nice kitty." If you can arrange to have cat food on your breath, so much the better.
3. For sitting on laps and rubbing against trouser legs, select colors that contrast with your own.
4. Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
5. For guests who say "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain, claws applied to stockings, or a quick nip on the ankles.
6. Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer wit your forepaws. Once the door is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. You can change your mind. When you have ordered an outside door opened, stand half in and half out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather or mosquito season.
7. If one person is busy, and the other is idle, sit with the busy one. For book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the book itself.
(Editor's note: this also works when playing cards or board games)
8. For ladies knitting, curl quietly into lap and pretend to doze. Then reach out and slap knitting needles sharply. This is what she calls a dropped stitch. She will try to distract you. Ignore it.
9. For people doing homework, sit on the paper being worked on. After being removed for the second time, push anything movable off the table--pens, pencils, stamps - one at a time.
10. Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing between 2 and 4 a.m.
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Top Ten Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
9. You find a lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.
7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose petal & saffron demi-glace', with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.
5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.
4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.
3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.
AND THE NUMBER 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart...
1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
On a T-shirt we just saw: Cheer Up Things Could Be Worse
Martha Stewart Could Be Your Mother-in-law
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
THE TROUBLE TREE
I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made him lose an hour of work his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation.
His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss. Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. "Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. " I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children, So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again. Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
(CILYM)
"Trouble, like the hill ahead, straightens out when you advance upon it." Marcelene Cox
The following tribute was written several years ago, but in honor of Nancy's memory and in celebration of her life, during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we offer it now:
When I think about Nancy Gelling it is always with great affection, joy and warmth, but inevitably, tinged by sadness. I miss her as much now as I did when she left this earth and I cried inconsolably for days, selfish tears for my loss. But I do, nevertheless, recall her regularly because she was my best friend and by Webster's definition, a mentor. Yet, she was so much more than both of those things. She helped me and countless others fulfill our dreams. She did it with tenacity, sincerity, conviction, and the most endearing humor, all combined with an indisputable love for the people she guided and the job she was doing. The New World Dictionary lists mentor as a "wise advisor" and gentle, genuinely caring wisdom was one of Nancy's specialties. Imagine mentoring virtually thousands of students in the course of a professional career and leaving each individual with a sense that she or he was the most important person she had ever counseled.
The first time I met Nancy, I had college credits from three different institutions of higher learning and although accumulated over a full time and then part time effort which spanned almost fifteen years, I was woefully shy of the number needed to achieve my greatest desire—a B.A. in Social Work. I had two pre-schoolers and was still attempting to adjust to life in the suburbs of a city I had recently moved to with my husband. I was anxious, confused, frustrated and desperately seeking a path, which would lead to my being, awarded a diploma.
Almost immediately I realized Nancy was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful people I had ever met—in spite of the fact that American cultural standards of the 70's would have labeled her middle-aged, fat and unfashionable. Very quickly too, I knew Nancy was one of the most spiritual people I would ever meet in my lifetime. Never mind, that conventional thinking might have branded her a marginal Presbyterian who did not attend church frequently enough. All of us who ever sat in her office and discussed our heart's desires, experienced something every bit as profound as any religious setting could have to offer.
Nancy aided so many of us who had to cobble together schedules and scenarios, which would accommodate the routines of the non-traditional students. On those occasions when I'd burst into her office and complain that I couldn't possibly endure one more class period sitting side by side with the "Gucci groomed girls with the purple fingernails," as I used to call them, she would patiently allow me time to calm down, smile and then mend my bruised ego. She could repair damaged self-esteem artfully, she could bolster sagging spirits convincingly, and she could inspire her students to excellence and even measures of greatness by the sheer virtue of her unflinching confidence in them. As I've been contemplating this, it occurs to me that the word mentor should have Nancy's picture along side the definition in the dictionary.
One of our special times together was a day spent at the home of a mutual friend (another of "Nancy's gang") where we whiled away a sunny afternoon, sitting in the backyard drinking lemonade. At one point, there was a noisy disturbance on the perimeter of the lawn and we looked up to see two blue jays. Nancy said, "I think blue jays have gotten a bad rap as loud, quarrelsome birds. Once I saw a pair in back of my house and they reminded me so much of my parents who died shortly after. I always suspected there was a direct connection between the timing of the blue jay's appearance and the death of my folks, but whenever I see them now it gives me a nice feeling and makes me think my mother and father may not be so far away." Less than two years later Nancy called and asked me to meet with her. I had graduated the year before and I knew she had recent surgery she might want to discuss so I wasn't unduly alarmed. But when I sat across the desk from her she smiled and said, "There is malignancy—it's breast cancer and my doctor says it really looks bad and our family spent Thanksgiving grappling with it—but, bottom line—I'm OK. And, by the way, I nominated you for the Dean's Alumni Scholar Award for outstanding scholastic achievement." Several months later she was present, in a wheel chair, when the Dean made the presentation. Six months after that, before an overflow crowd at the college chapel, I delivered a eulogy as the individual chosen by her family to represent those throngs of students she had shepherded through the august halls of learning at the University. It was one of the proudest and worst moments of my life. Several years later I was invited again to deliver remarks in her honor at the newly renovated student lounge which was dedicated to her memory in the Continuing Education building where she had sheltered so many of us.
When I moved away last year, one of the last things I did was to drive over into the next county to the gravesite and think about the fact this was something I could no longer do on an annual basis. But, shortly after moving into our new home in our present location, I began walking daily. Along the path, in a wooded section set back from the sidewalk, I saw blue jays—almost every time. I know that Nancy Gelling touched my life in a way I could never adequately articulate but in a manner that enriched me, strengthened me, and heightened the good and spiritual within me. More importantly, I realize that she will live on forever as long as there are blue jays and sunshine.
People we love never leave us as long as we hold them in our hearts!We must find a cure.
(CILYM)
Please take a minute and help us spread the word about The Breast Cancer Site. By telling friends about this fast, free way to provide mammograms to underprivileged women, you make a real impact on the number of women we help. In the first month of this year, we generated funds to provide 200 women with mammograms. With your help, we can impact the lives of more than 2,000 women in 2001. 43,000 women will die from breast cancer this year. Please click daily and tell others about The Breast Cancer Site. Here's the website! Pass it along to all your women friends!!
www.thebreastcancersite.com/
THE BRICKS OF LIFE
"About ten years ago, a young and successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and – WHUMP! – it smashed into the Jag's shiny black side door.
SCREECH…!!! Brakes slammed. Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck do you think you're doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag. That brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"
"Please mister, please…I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop." Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be okay. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shiny, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE – a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind himself not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention. Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the bricks of life coming at you."
Consider asking:
Give me enough tears to keep me human
Enough humor to keep me wise,
Enough setback
To keep me humble,
Enough accomplishments
To keep me confident,
Enough
Patience to teach me waiting,
Enough hope to teach me trusting,
Enough friends to give me love,
Enough memories to give me comfort
And enough faith to keep me going.
Breast Cancer is one of life's biggest bricks! Let's find a cure!
(ILYCM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
As we all begin the headlong rush into one of the busiest times of the year, the following story bears pondering—it offers useful and instructive insights for any period, but most especially perhaps, the days when a frenetic pace can block our vision of what truly matters. Many people have declared that September 11, 2001 was a wake up call in their lives….suddenly the landscape changed so dramatically and along with it, the perspective about what's really important in life—and what is not.
"From, Chicken Soup for the Soul: 101 Stories to Open the Heart & Rekindle the Spirit (Chicken Soup for the Soul Series: (Paper) by Jack Canfield (Editor), Mark Victor Hansen (Editor)
Amazon $10.36 Paperback - 308 pages Revised edition (April 1995)
Click on link to Buy
Take A Moment To Really See
"We have all heard the expression: 'Remember to stop and smell the roses.' But, how often do we really take time out of our hectic fast-paced lives to notice the world around us? Too often we get caught up in our busy schedules, thoughts of our next appointment, the traffic or life in general, to even realize there are other people nearby.
I am as guilty as anyone of tuning out the world in this manner, especially when I am driving on California's overcrowded streets. A short time ago, however, I witnessed an event that showed me how being wrapped up in my own little world has kept me from being fully aware of the bigger world picture around me.
I was driving to a business appointment and, as usual, I was planning in my mind what I was going to say. I came to a very busy intersection where the stoplight had just turned red. 'All right,' I thought to myself, 'I can beat the next light if I race ahead of the pack.'
My mind and car were in auto pilot, ready to go when suddenly my trance was broken by an unforgettable sight. A young couple, both blind, were walking arm-in-arm across this busy intersection with cars whizzing by in every direction. The man was holding the hand of a little boy, while the woman was clutching a baby sling to her chest, obviously carrying a child. Each of them had a white can extended, searching for clues to navigate them across the intersection.
Initially I was moved. They were overcoming what I felt was one of the most feared handicaps—blindness. 'Wouldn't it be terrible to be blind?' I thought. My thought was quickly interrupted by horror when I saw that the couple were not walking in the crosswalk, but were instead veering diagonally, directly toward the middle of the intersection. Without realizing the danger they were in, they were walking right smack into the path of oncoming cars. I was frightened for them because I didn't know if the other drivers understood what was happening.
As I watched from the front line of traffic (I had the best seat in the house), I saw a miracle unfold before my eyes. EVERY car in EVERY direction came to a simultaneous stop. I never heard the screech of brakes or even the peep of a car horn. Nobody even yelled, 'Get out of the way!' Everything froze. In that moment, time seemed to stand still for this family.
Amazed, I looked at the cars around me to verify that we were all seeing the same thing. I noticed that everyone's attention was also fixed on the couple. Suddenly the driver to my right reacted. Craning his head out of his car, he yelled, 'To your right. To your right!' Other people followed in unison, shouting, 'To your right!'
Never skipping a beat, the couple adjusted their course as they followed the coaching. Trusting their white canes and the calls from some concerned citizens, they made it to the other side of the road. As they arrived at the curb, one thing struck me—they were still arm-in-arm.
I was taken aback by the emotionless expressions on their faces and judged that they had no idea what was really going on around them. Yet I immediately sensed the sighs of relief exhaled by everyone stopped at that intersection.
As I glanced into the cars around me, the driver on my right was mouthing the words, 'Whew, did you see that?!' The driver to the left of me was saying, 'I can't believe it!' I think all of us were deeply moved by what we had just witnessed. Here were human beings stepping outside themselves for a moment to help four people in need.
I have reflected back on this situation many times since it happened and have learned several powerful lessons from it. The first is: 'Slow down and smell the roses.' (Something I had rarely done up until then.) Take time to look around and really see what is going on in front of you right now. Do this and you will realize that this moment is all there is, more importantly, this moment is all that you have to make a difference in life.
The second lesson I learned is that the goals we set for ourselves can be attained through faith in ourselves and trust in others, despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
The blind couple's goal was simply to get to the other side of the road intact. Their obstacle was eight lines of cars aimed straight at them. Yet, without panic or doubt, they walked forward until they reached their goal.
We too can move forward in attaining our goals, putting blinders on to the obstacles that would stand in our way. We just need to trust our intuition and accept the guidance of others who may have greater insight.
Finally, I learned to really appreciate my gift of sight, something I had taken for granted all too often. Can you imagine how different life would be without your eyes? Try to imagine for a moment, walking into a busy intersection without being able to see. How often we forget the simple yet incredible gifts we have in our life.
As I drove away from that busy intersection, I did so with more awareness of life and compassion for others than I had arrived there with. Since then I have made the decision to really see life as I go about my daily activities and use my God-given talents to help others less fortunate.
Do yourself a favor as you walk through life: Slow down and take the time to really see. Take a moment to see what is going on around you right now, right where you are. You may be missing something wonderful." J. Michael Thomas
"To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations." Emily Dickinson
Preoccupation with "busyness" can "blindside" us so that we cannot occupy our days with really living. Neat Women Inc thought for the day.
(ILYCM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
A neat woman, who was one of the first and most enthusiastic visitors to this site, posted something on the Neat Women Inc message board late last year, which we would like to share. She gave us her permission to do that. It's particularly appropriate for this month….Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
"I am celebrating being 66 years old. It's not my birthday, but the first day of the rest of my life. I should be sad and grieving today. This is the anniversary of my best friend and brother's death. I think of him every day, but I have managed to think of the 22 good, productive loving years that we had together.
The other reason that I am celebrating today is because I talked to the radiation oncologist that has given me 23 treatments and 2 more to go. He tells me I have chosen my life just right. Sounds strange, since I have been dealing with cancer for almost 24 years. It also sounds strange to have had breast cancer for a third time, when you have already had two mastectomies….thank God for the new treatments. The doctor told me that although he knows that I did not choose to have this happen again, it's a good time to take care of it.
With a lumpectomy, radiation and Tamoxifen, he told me I could go my way, come in for an office visit and get on with my life.
I remember my aunts and the nuns at school told me that it was not proper to touch your body in certain places. Forget it. Now is the time to touch yourself anywhere you want to, although in public, it is still frowned on by some. At least that's what I thought until I accidentally got hooked into "Perverts.com" and thought I would have to shut my computer down to get off of it. I sometimes envy women who have breasts, but then I think:
I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When we wrote to Doris to ask if we could use her posting, this was her reply:
"I wrote that message because that's the way I felt on Tuesday. I don't feel any differently today. I am still celebrating my life. I have completed my 25 treatments and can now forget about them, except for my purple underarm.
I am glad that there are so many treatments for cancer now. Maybe someone who suspects that she has it will do something besides worry about this disease. The only alternative to facing cancer is death and most people don't want to think about this. You may use the message anywhere you like. I am happy to have the opportunity to speak of how I feel and not think myself just another crazy old lady.
I get long winded about this because I know how emotionally and physically debilitating it is."
We have never met Doris "in person" but we've come to know her as a friend. We don't think she would mind our telling you that she didn't even begin to mention all the heartache in her life—some of which is ever present today. She has a grown daughter who has been struggling with a crippling and difficult illness most of her life. This is one strong woman, our friend Doris. For those of us who are some years behind her, she is like a sturdy, trustworthy and comforting beacon of warm light in the distance. Someone who can not only routinely inspire us, but who is also willing to share her strength as a guide for us in our travels. We are grateful to her, happy to know her, and energized by her wit and wisdom, which she has shared time and again.
~Why Worry About Tomorrow~
Why worry about tomorrow
And the rising of the sun,
Or anguish over past mistakes
That cannot be undone?
Why waste life's precious moments
On things that bruise the heart
When today is ours to fashion
Into a work of art?
Today comes but once, my friend,
It never can return-
So use it wisely while you can,
There's a lesson you may learn.
Let history record the past
And tomorrow come what may.
Be content to do your best
With what you have today!
We do not know the author of that poem—but it sounded to us like Doris' mantra, which is why we selected it. In memory and in celebration of Gildna Radner who said, "The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity. No matter what happens, whether the cancer never flares up again or whether you die, the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have LIVED" Ms. Radner lost her battle with ovarian cancer when she was in her 30's.
(ILYCM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
SUNDAY REFLECTION
Simple Advice
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Reason, Season and Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
"Sharing is sometimes more demanding than giving." Mary Catherine Bateson
SATURDAY SILLINESS
Dr. Seuss's Guide to the Internet
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna
crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame, sir!
We'll find you
Another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol
That's repeatedly rejected by your printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
After many years of marriage, Dave and I have achieved total sexual compatibility. We both have headaches at night.
People say marriage is a contract.
Contracts come with warrantees and guarantees; both written and implied. Plus that 30 day money back policy.
So what are you going to do? Take him back to his mom's house and say, "Here! He's broke! He
Won't do a thing. He just lies around the house, making funny noises and smelling bad!"
Not according to Dave's mom!
I know; I tried. I think she knew I was coming. She had a sign on the front door,
"No exchanges or returns. All children final!"
How To Cheer Yourself Up When You're Down by Colleen Moulding
Got the colder weather, sour relationships, no money, poor health, plain ol' down 'n dirty blues? Try some of these strategies to blow away those dark clouds and let the sunshine into your life again.
1) Dance! Put on your favorite music, turn it up loud and dance! This is guaranteed to make you feel good. If you are unable to dance, don't let that stop you having fun - sing at the top of your voice instead.
2) Smile! Force yourself to smile even if you don't feel like it. This tricks your brain into thinking that you are happy. You do want to be happy don't you? Okay then - a great big cheesy grin. After three, one, two, three, - smile:0)
3) Spend time with children. Their natural zest for life is infectious. As well as the pleasures of a spontaneous hug or a chubby little hand in yours, try to take away with you some of their joy in simple things, licking an ice cream, playing with water, tramping through fallen leaves or following a butterfly.
4) Reward yourself. If there is a job that you hate to do, household accounts, home repairs etc. don't keep putting it off so that it is constantly nagging at you. Just get it done. Then reward yourself with whatever you love, a shiny new magazine, a bunch of flowers, a long soak in an aromatic bath, two bars of chocolate or an evening in front of the TV doing absolutely nothing. Or even all of the above if you can afford it. The peace of mind that comes from having got the job done will be the greatest reward of all.
5) Clear out your clutter. The ancient art of Feng Shui believes that getting rid of clutter rids your home or workspace of negative stuck energy and allows space for positive energy to surge into all aspects of your life. Whether or not this is correct, it is an undeniable fact that clearing out what you no longer want or need makes life easier. Your home is neater, looks more spacious and is easier to clean. There can also be a tremendous feeling of freedom as you let go of the past and trust in the future to bring you what you will need. Emotional clutter can be even more damaging. We've all said or done things we regret, the trick is to do anything you can to repair the damage and if that is not possible, forgive yourself and toss it out of your life.
6) Take action. If something is worrying you, be it a health problem, or debt or divorce, make that doctor's appointment, get some debt-counseling, find out your rights. The reality is often less stressful than sitting alone worrying about it. Try to talk over your problems with a friend, or if that is impossible find a support group on the Internet by typing debt, divorce or whatever into a search engine.
7) Positive thoughts. When you leave the house each morning, say and mean, I'm going to have a great day, it's going to be lots of fun, rather than thinking, Oh no, another dreary day at the office to get through. The first attitude will attract good vibrations and positive fun people to you, the second will ensure a depressing day.
8) Have more fun. Apparently children laugh approximately 400 times a day yet adults laugh only about 20 times a day. When do we lose our sense of fun? Claim it back. Play games, watch comedies, have daily jokes delivered to your mailbox or throw a fancy dress party.
9) Make something. Being creative gives you such a buzz you won't stay down in the dumps for long. Stencil a room, make a cake, plan a garden, sketch or paint a picture. Express yourself with a modern collage, change your rooms around, display your collections or start a patchwork quilt.
10) Keep a gratitude journal. Write down half a dozen things every day that you are grateful for, from waking up and seeing your children's beautiful little faces to the smell of the roses in the local park. This cannot fail to cheer you up if you do it regularly as it gives you a whole new way of experiencing your life.
11) Start a new project. Learn a language, trace your family history, redecorate your home, learn to ride a horse, gain a new qualification, take music lessons, learn to make your own soft furnishings or do your own auto repairs. Visualize yourself successfully completing the project and the benefits it will bring to your life. Then make a start and follow it through to the end. An added bonus will be the increased self-esteem that comes from having planned, problem solved and perfected the whole project yourself.
12) See your old friends. It's easy to get into a work, family, housework, shopping, sleep and back to work again routine that leaves you no time at all to be the person you once were. The funny, up for a laugh, outgoing young woman you used to be. Spending time with friends who knew the old you seems to resurrect that side of your character. You will come away feeling younger, more positive and excited by life than you were before you met up. Go on, invite them over to share a pizza and catch up on each other's lives.
13) Paint or accessorize a room that you spend a lot of time in a lovely bright yellow. The colour of sunshine will lift your spirit and bring positive vibrations. We subconsciously know about the effects of color on our emotions, which is why we talk about the future looking rosy or having the blues.
14) Take the happiness option. You have the choice whether to spend this day, which you will never live through again, in a state of happiness or unhappiness. Choose to spend it as happily as you possibly can.
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About the Author:
Colleen Moulding is a freelance writer from England where she has had many features on parenting, childcare, play, travel, entertaining and the Internet published in national newspapers and magazines. She has also written a variety of women's and children's fiction. Her work frequently appears at many sites on the Internet and at her own site for women All That Women Want.com a magazine, web guide and resource for women everywhere. Why not drop by? It was made for you! http://www.allthatwomenwant.com
Through the Looking Glass www.neatwomeninc.com/nov_1999.shtml
(ILYCM)
Breast Cancer Awareness…..The More You Know, The Better Equipped You Are….Knowledge is Power…. www.nbcam.org
Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
Visit www.breastcancerinfo.com - one of the best sites for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - risk factors, Q&A;, prevention, resources www.nabco.org
AGE IS A FUNNY THING
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?"
"I'm 4 and half."
You're never 36 and a half, but you're 4 and a half going on 5! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number.
"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16."
You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16. And then the greatest day of your life happens: you become 21. Even the words sounds like a ceremony--you BECOME 21. YES!!!!
But then you turn 30. Ooohhh, what happened here?? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED. We had to throw him out. There's no fun now. What's wrong?? What changed???
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40...stay over there, it's all slipping away...
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50...my dreams are gone...
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50 and then you MAKE IT to 60...Whew! I didn't think I'd make it.
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, You're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60, and by then you've built up so much speed, you HIT 70!
After that, it's a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday, you get into your 80s, you HIT lunch. I mean my grandmother won't even buy green bananas, "Well it's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one."
And it doesn't end there...Into the 90's, you start going backwards: I was JUST 92. Then a strange thing happens, if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again: I'm 100 and a half!!
Age is a funny thing.
"Never trust a woman who will not lie about her age after thirty. She is unwomanly and unhuman and there is no knowing what crimes she will commit." Gertrude Atherton
(ILYCM)
When thinking about age, most of us feel that "less is definitely more." N.E.A.T. posting, When Less Is More….check it out! www.neatwomeninc.com/neat_lessismore.shtml
Today is the 37th anniversary of two events--both of which seem to take on a unique significance in view of recent occurrences. We posted the following message three years ago today when life in America meant freedom from war waged on U.S. soil—a sense of security which was snatched from our grasp, along with the lives of so many loved ones on 9/11.
From: "On This Day in History"
"It was on October 15, in 1965, that the first draft card was burned in protest of the United States' escalating military involvement in Vietnam. And on this same day in 1969, those flames of protest swept across the nation in the form of demonstrations and a candlelight vigil outside the White House. Freedom of speech and the freedom to assemble are both guaranteed by the American Constitution. So even though many Americans did not agree with the government's foreign and military policies, they continued to exercise their rights to publicly express their opinions."
The basic human right to freedom is still sparking conflict around the world today. Political repression exists in countries in ways Americans and people of other free nations can hardly imagine. We've quoted from the book, "Freedoms After 50," which is a humorous look at the opportunities to overcome constraints we might expect aging to impose. But, the fundamental right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is no laughing matter and often won in the wake of great loss of life and property.
Sadly, freedom is something so easy to take for granted. How many of us can imagine casting off in something barely more than a dinghy and risking our lives to seek independence? Would we be willing to die for something we rarely give much thought to and seldom express appreciation about? Most of us cannot truly fathom living under the dominance and control of a dictatorship.
It's interesting that the period surrounding the burning of that first draft card, left an indelible impression on so many women in particular. To illustrate we have chosen passages from two books—one a novel and one non-fiction.
From "Hot Flashes" by Barbara Raskin, "Still, the sixties felt good to us because the present was always pregnant with possibilities, because right and wrong seemed easily discernable, and because we were still young and happy and in love with our handsome husbands and our bright, lovely children who played and laughed together, exhilarated by the camping quality of our Washington visits. Perhaps some moralist might say that when our country was waging a wrongful war, nothing should have felt so good. But the power we derived from our protest politics was heady and we have never quite forgotten how good it felt."
That is a description, which reflects the attitude of Depression Era babies—women born before 1940.
From "What I Saw At The Revolution: A Political Life in the Reagan Era," by Peggy Noonan (a woman born after 1945) a factual account of her response to that same time period:
"I don't mean we didn't care about Vietnam. We did. I can't get over it to this day, nor I suppose can anyone in my generation. I would say it gave shape to an era, but perhaps it only guaranteed that the era would be shapeless, that our politics would lack symmetry, perhaps for the rest of our lives"
Two different perspectives, same issue. There is a saying that "perception is reality." People's realities are quite different but there is one constant, best expressed by Pearl S. Buck, "None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free." And, as a character in a novel by Kay Mills said, "Nobody's free until everybody's free."
We sincerely believe that one of the best and most effective ways to demonstrate our gratitude is to vote in every election, in every country, which offers that opportunity. We also suggest a moment of silence for those who were lost on September 11, 2001 and the members of the military who are putting themselves in harm's way in order to preserve freedom in the United States and around the world.
(CILYM)
Please take a minute and help us spread the word about The Breast Cancer Site. By telling friends about this fast, free way to provide mammograms to underprivileged women, you make a real impact on the number of women we help. In the first month of this year, we generated funds to provide 200 women with mammograms. With your help, we can impact the lives of more than 2,000 women in 2001. 43,000 women will die from breast cancer this year. Please click daily and tell others about The Breast Cancer Site. Here's the website! Pass it along to all your women friends!!
www.thebreastcancersite.com
Christopher Columbus arrived in the Bahamas on October 12 in 1492, so you might logically suppose that would be Columbus Day. It used to be that simple, but it isn't anymore. Columbus Day is now observed on the second Monday of October. It is customary, on Columbus Day, to salute Columbus' Italian heritage; to spare a fond memory for Queen Isabella of Spain who financed his exploration for a new route to India; and perhaps to sympathize with the Native Americans who were perfectly happy until Columbus landed.
"From American Women: Their Lives in Their Own Words" by Doreen Rappaport
Women in the New World
"Francisca Hinestrosa was the first European woman after Columbus' voyages to come to the New World to live. She came with her soldier-husband on Hernando de Soto's expedition to Florida in 1539. In 1550 and 1565 other Spanish and Portugese women settled in St. Augustine's, Florida, the first permanent settlement in what is now the United States. In 1598 over a hundred women were among the first four hundred Mexicans who followed the Spanish conqueror Don Jan de Onate. They established a colony in what is now known as northern New Mexico.
Seventeen Englishwomen were among the settlers who mysteriously disappeared in the colony in Roanoke, Virginia, in 1587. One hundred women and children were among the 620 settlers arriving in Jamestown, Virginia, in 1609. Within twenty years English-women had emigrated to Plymouth, Salem, and Boston, Massachusetts, and Dutch women to New Amersterdam and the area near what is now Albany, New York.
When the first women arrived in Jamestown, the single men lined up to look them over. A wife cost her passage over, 120 pounds of leaf tobacco, or about $80, a sizable sum. Then new arrivals were not forced to marry, but eventually most did.
These early arrivals fell short of the numbers needed to provide companionship for lonely male settlers, so investors in the Virginia colonies started actively recruiting women from England. They signed up poor women to work as indentured servants. These women usually pledged to work for seven years in exchange for passage over and room and board.
When these volunteers did not meet the demand, women were kidnapped off the streets of English cities. Women, sentenced to long prison terms for petty or major crimes, were allowed to immigrate to the New World instead of rotting in prison or being hanged. A fourth, cheaper source of labor was introduced when the first African slaves, men and women, arrived in Jamestown.
For the first two hundred years most women in America, like most men, worked in and around the home, making almost everything the family needed. Working from well before sunup to well after sundown, women planted vegetables and meats; milked cows; made butter and cheese; prepared meals; made soap, candles, and medicines; spun yarn; knitted scarves and stockings; and nursed sick family members. As the settlements grew and small businesses arose, women helped their husbands and sons shoe horses, cane chairs, grind eyeglasses, stitch shoes, and keep financial records. Women ran taverns, sawmills, gristmills, and dry-goods and clothing stores."
"Freedom is not won on the battlefields. The chance for freedom is won there. The final battle is won or lost in our hearts and minds." Helen Gahagan Douglas
(ILYCM)
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For more information about breast cancer treatment and research, visit the National Cancer Institute's web site at: http://www.nbcam.org/index.html
Our most valuable and precious resource—Children—yours, mine, everyone's!
When you thought I wasn't looking
by a Child . . .
"When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.' "
Each of us, parent or friend, influences the life of a child.
The price of a child...
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle-income family. Talk about sticker shock. That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the things we could have bought, all the places we could have traveled, all the money we could have banked if not for (insert child's name here).
For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896 a year, $741.38 a month or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day. Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be rich. It's just the opposite.
There's no way to put a price tag on:
* Feeling a new life move for the first time and seeing the bump of a knee rippling across your skin.
* Having someone cry, "It's a boy!" or shout, "It's a girl!" then hearing the baby wail and knowing all that matters is it's healthy.
* Counting all 10 fingers and toes for the first time.
* Feeling the warmth of fat cheeks against your breast.
* Cupping an entire head in the palm of your hand.
* Making out da da or ma ma from all the cooing and gurgling.
What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle and last.
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, You never have to grow up.
* You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs and never stop believing in Santa Claus.
* You have an excuse to keep reading the adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies and wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray-painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, handprints set in clay for Mother's Day and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there's no greater bang for your buck.
* You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a sliver, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
* You get a front-row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, first time behind the wheel.
* You get to be immortal.
* You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.
* You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality no college can match.
* In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God.
* You have the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
(ILYCM)
"A child's attitude toward everything is an artist's attitude." Willa Cather
SUNDAY REFLECTION
WHAT IS GOD LIKE??
God is a little like General Electric
He lights your path.
God is a little like Bayer Aspirin
He works wonders.
God is a little like Hallmark Cards
He cared enough to send the very best.
God is a little like Tide
He gets out the stains that others leave behind.
God is a little like Alberto VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is a little like Dial Soap
Aren't you glad you know Him? Don't you wish everyone did?
God is a little like Sears
He has everything.
God is a little like Alka Seltzer
Oh, what a relief He is!
God is a little like Scotch Tape
You can't see Him but you know He's there!
God is a little like The Copper Top Battery
Nothing can outlast Him.
God is a little like American Express
Don't leave home without Him!
The following is something to ponder..............
If you woke up this morning with more health than
illness...you are more blessed than the million
who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of
torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are
ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of
harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are
more blessed than three billion people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on
your back, a roof overhead and a place to
sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and
spare change in a dish someplace...you are among the
top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If your parents are still alive and still
married...you are very rare, even in the United States.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face
and are truly thankful...you are blessed because the
majority can, but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even
touch them on the shoulder...you are blessed because
you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this message, you just received a
double blessing in that someone was thinking of you,
and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two
billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings.
www.gbgm-umc.org/creekers/closing.htm
Let There be Peace On Earth By: Jill Jackson and Sy Miller
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With God as our Father
Brothers all are we
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.
Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow:
To live each moment and love each moment
In peace eternally
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
"Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it towards others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world." Etty Hillesum
SATURDAY SILLINESS
Things a True Southerner Knows
1. The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
2. Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
3. What general direction cattywumpus is.
4. When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
5. How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
6. Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits!!
7. A good dog is worth its weight in gold.
8. Real gravy don't come from the store.
9. When "by and by" is.
10. The difference between "pert near" and "a right far piece."
11. Never to go snipe hunting twice.
12. At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
13. Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
14. You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
15. Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
16. Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.
The Top Signs It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet
For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3.
The leeches look like they might have turned.
You've forgotten which one was the rectal thermometer.
They no longer manufacture an anti-Macarena drug.
The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake -- but you don't have a night-light.
A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between the after shave and the aspirin.
Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst tasting toothpaste EVER.
The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.
There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying, "Hi, Guy!"
and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet...
Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"
"Southerners have been known to stay over the Fourth and not get home before Thanksgiving. Some old timers take in overnight guests and keep them through three generations." Mary Ellen Robinson Snodgrass
For the last two decades, the role of First Lady in the United States has become an increasingly visible position. President Carter set off a controversy about the appropriateness of that when he stated it was not uncommon for him to discuss major policy issues with his wife, Rosalynn.
When First Lady Hillary Clinton tackled Health Care shortly after her husband's first election, the uproar was noisy and contentious…. especially when her efforts fizzled.
Some would say it all started with a woman born on this day in 1884.
From "On This Day in History:"
"Eleanor Roosevelt elevated the role of First Lady to a stature on par with that of the Commander in Chief. And she became the only First Lady to be honored with her own statue at a presidential memorial. Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was born on this day in 1884 in New York City. She was President Theodore Roosevelt's niece, and had married her cousin, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Throughout her life, she was an awkward public speaker. But the courage of her convictions and her undeniable determination to succeed won public attention for both civil and human rights at home and abroad even when she was eventually appointed to the United Nations."
From "American Women: Their Lives in Their Words"
by Doreen Rappaport:
"During the difficult years of the Depression, millions of Americans wrote to President Roosevelt and his advisors for help. And for the first time in history, women turned to a President's wife for help. Eleanor Roosevelt was an established political figure in her own right when her husband became president in 1933.
She worked within the New York State Democratic Committee to establish laws limiting child labor and to enforce an eight-hour day and minimum wages for women. She was a member of the Women's Trade Union League and a friend of Rose Schneiderman's and other women reformers. She organized a White House Conference to discuss how to more effectively help unemployed women. Mrs. Roosevelt urged the President to include more women and minorities in his New Deal programs.
She also urged the President to appoint more women to government posts. Frances Perkins, the Secretary of Labor, became the first woman cabinet member. The women's project of the Federal Emergency Relief Administration was head by Ellen Woodward, a Mississippi legislator and social reformer. Rose Schneiderman was appointed to the advisory board of the National Recovery Administration. Mary McLeod Bethune, a prominent black educator, headed programs for black youth at the National Youth Administration. Mrs. Roosevelt's activities on behalf of women and minorities prompted one reporter to comment that the White House was becoming 'Hull House on Pennsylvania Avenue.'
Eleanor Roosevelt's energy, concern for people, and commitment to her ideals made her a role model for millions of women around the world. In her autobiography she describes her journey from being a frightened, awkward young girl to the woman eventually called The First Lady of the World.
'Because I felt as only a young girl can feel it, all the pain of being an ugly duckling, I was not only timid, I was afraid. Afraid of almost everything, I think: of mice, of the dark, of imaginary dangers, of my own inadequacy. My chief objective, as a girl, was to do my duty. This had been drilled into me as far back as I could remember. Not my duty as I saw it, but my duty as laid down for me by other people. It never occurred to me to revolt. Anyhow, my one overwhelming need in those days was to be approved, to be loved, and I did whatever was required of me, hoping it would bring me nearer to the approval and love I so much wanted.
As a young woman, my sense of duty remained as strict and rigid as it had been when I was a girl, but it had changed its focus. My husband and children became the center of my life and their needs were my new duty. I am afraid now that I approached this new obligation much as I had my childhood duties. I was still timid, still afraid of doing something wrong, of making mistakes, or not living up to the standards required by my mother-in-law, of failing to do what was expected of me.
As a result, I was so hidebound by duty that I became too critical, too much of a disciplinarian. I was so concerned with bringing up my children properly that I was not wise enough just to love them. Now, looking back, I think I would rather spoil a child a little and have more fun out of it.
It was not until I reached middle age that I had the courage to develop interests of my own, outside of my duties to my family. In the beginning, it seems to me now, I had no goal beyond the interests themselves, in learning about people and conditions and the world outside our own United States. Almost at once I began to discover that interest leads to interest, knowledge leads to more knowledge, the capacity for understanding grows with the effort to understand.
From that time on, though I have had many problems, though I have known the grief and loneliness that are the lot of most human beings, though I have had to make and still have to make endless adjustments, I have never been bored, never found the days long enough for the range of activities with which I wanted to fill them. And, having learned to stare down fear, I long ago reached the point where there is no living person whom I fear, and few challenges that I am not willing to face.'"
"After her husband died suddenly on April 12, 1945, Roosevelt continued her public activities. In December of that year, President Harry S Truman appointed her a United States delegate to the first meeting of the United Nations in London. She became the chairperson of the Commission on Human Rights, which was given the job of drafting an international bill of rights. On December 10, 1948, the United Nations accepted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Roosevelt had been the driving force behind its creation.
FROM THE UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS
Article I: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
When Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower became president in 1952, Roosevelt resigned her position at the United Nations. She became a leading spokesperson for liberal causes, arguing for civil rights not only in American but also in all other countries. Traveling around the world throughout the 1950s, she called for nuclear disarmament and urged leaders to protect the human rights of their people. Even in her late seventies, Roosevelt remained a powerful voice in the Democratic Party. She died at her home in New York City on November 7, 1962."
Source: U·X·L® Biographies, U·X·L, 1996
Eleanor Roosevelt said: "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
The quote from her book that really caught our attention was: "It was not until I reached middle age that I had the courage to develop interests of my own, outside of my duties to my family."
(CILYM)
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For more information about breast cancer treatment and research, log onto the National Cancer Institute's website at http://www.nbcam.org/
If John Lennon were still alive, today would be his 63rd birthday. The best site we found offers a full biography and much more, including a beautiful rendition of "Imagine." We offer a brief excerpt from: www.john-lennon.com
"Out of all the Beatles, John Lennon had the most interesting -- and frustrating -- solo career. Lennon was capable of inspired, brutally honest confessional songwriting and melodic songcraft; he also had a tendency to rest on his laurels, churning out straight-ahead rock & roll without much care. But the extremes, both in his music and his life, were what made him fascinating. Where Paul McCartney was content to be a rock star, Lennon dabbled in everything from revolutionary politics to the television talk-show circuit during the early '70s. After releasing a pair of acclaimed albums, John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band and Imagine, in the early '70s, Lennon sunk into an infamous "lost weekend" where his musical output was decidedly uneven and his public behavior was often embarrassing. Halfway through the decade, he sobered up and retired from performing to become a house-husband and father. In 1980, he launched a comeback with his wife Yoko Ono, releasing the duet album Double Fantasy that fall. Just as his career was on an upswing, Lennon was tragically assassinated outside of his New York apartment building in December of 1980. He left behind an enormous legacy, not only as a musician, but as a writer, actor and activist."
"Imagine" John Lennon
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
"Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace in ourselves, and to reflect it towards others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world." Etty Hillesum
(CILYM)
A Fable About Donkeys and Elephants
Once upon a time, in a land of plenty, a donkey and an elephant got into a terrible fight. They butted heads, tried to eat each other's food and kicked and brayed and trumpeted until people had to cover their ears.
The residents of this kingdom were soon weary of the whole mess, but everyone was baffled about how to finally put a stop to the conflict. The donkey said he was smarter, more experienced and could better rule the land. The elephant insisted he was better qualified for the job because he had already ruled a difficult place called Texas and had done a splendid job there.
Both the donkey and the elephant succeeded in persuading a great many folks to give them money—lots of money. They spent it on advertising and got their images on television and billboards and brochures and any place they could find which people would see. They even hired "spin" doctors to be ready at a moment's notice to give them shots to strengthen them.
The country was filled with photographs of the entire donkey's family, even the time he kissed his wife for 3 seconds. Of course, the elephant made certain all his family were seen whenever possible. Each reminded people that their father's had been successful leaders and that they could be even better.
Finally, as the moment drew near for the people to decide who should rule the barnyard, someone had a wonderful idea….that if they all stayed home and refused to make a decision, surely the donkey and the elephant would go away!
Sadly, however, that would not be the case. The donkey or the elephant would prevail and even though many said no one wanted either one—they would have to live with a selection other people had chosen.
Here's a thought! Next time, maybe we can convince a gazelle to enter the fray. They are intelligent, fast, and resourceful. Is the barnyard ready for a female to rule??
Anita and Joan were discussing the condition of the world. Their friend Lorna was taking it all in.
Anita: What this world needs is more poetry and poets. We need their beautiful, inspiring ideas.
Joan: No, no. You've got it all wrong. We've got to be practical. Poets just fly off into fantasy. Politicians aren't perfect, but they make the world work.
Anita: Well, maybe we could get the best of both worlds by encouraging politicians to write some poetry, and get some poets to go into politics.
Lorna (interrupting firmly): Well, I'll tell you one thing. The politics of poets shouldn't be taken any more seriously than the poetry of politicians!
60-On-Up Women are the wise elders of our tribe so we look to them for insights about the possible future of women in politics at the highest level:
"It's not possible to, say, become a celebrated concert pianist if you don't have an ear for music. But you can aim for what you'd like to be. Always aim for the sun—you may not reach it, but your arrow will fly much further than if you had just aimed for eye level. I always say it's not what you have that's important—it's what you do with what you have that will eventually take you places. You could be the smartest woman on the planet, but if you never bother to put your ideas in motion, what good are all those brains?" Elaine, 77
"Stay away from negative people. I see less of certain friends of mine now because they are constantly complaining about how they can't do this or can't do that. I'm not trying to escape my age, but I don't need a constant reminder either." Barbara, 64
"Let your love shine through your eyes. Whenever I have the desire to express a feeling of love for another person, I really show it through my eyes. I don't always speak it, but I do try to let others bask in what I'm feeling." Barbara, 63
"Get out there. In my day, we women weren't even allowed to talk to people outside our group when we went out—and now, women pay for men's drinks! So don't be so depressed. Go out and face the world and see what's going on! There's always someone for you." Florence, 88
(CIYM)
Margaret Chase Smith said, "In our own search for security we can never gain any peace of mind until we secure our own soul."
Today EVE'S in a major "vent" mode! About what?? Oh, a bit of this and that. We'll tackle the "this" first….
Fact or fiction?? (you decide)
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Surely, you will not be surprised to learn the list was compiled by a man!
"Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture." Rita Rudner
What follows next is the "that" part of the "this and that" Eve is on a venting binge about. Every one of these was listed in the subject area of an E-mail sent to Neat Women Inc within the last couple of months. Each was designed to provoke enough interest so the E-mail would actually be opened rather than deleted, unread. And ALL purport to carry messages of how to "get rich quick" on the Internet. Fortunately, everyone at Neat Women Inc has a well-developed sense of humor—in 1999, the site made $18 and in 2000 $7.59, in 2001 $25, and as the end of the year approaches we're in a deficit mode but we always remind ourselves that money isn't everything! This is a rather exhaustive list…and it's exhausting to open the mailbox and see them sitting there…so you may want to take a very quick glance through!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE IN 1-3 YEARS?
This Dumb Little Ad Could Make You Look Smart
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VIAGRA KILLED 522! Safe Alternative! Could Make You MONEY!
Did you miss Soup To Nuts?
PLEASE READ ASAP! This is Unbelievable!
Have you tried this?
Why Doesn't Everyone Succeed Online?
Gee—they make it sound so easy!!
(ILYCM)
If you're fairly new to Neat Women Inc, you may not be familiar with Eve's coded daily message to her daughter who lives 1100 miles away (I Love You Catherine, Mommy) or (Catherine, I Love You Mommy)…corny but heartfelt!
Computer Friends
"I sit and think everyday
How lucky I am to have my Computer Friends..
What wonderful memories and thoughts
They have given me Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
I consider you my friends
Although we've never met
You've managed to touch my heart
Through this thing called 'The Net'
You've been there for me
When I've needed someone
How can I ever thank you
For all that you've done
When I've needed a shoulder
A prayer, a hug or an ear
You have been there for me
Like we've been friends for years
I don't quite understand it
Us meeting as cyber-friends
But I feel God had a hand in it
In order for me to mend
I prefer not to use it
This term 'cyber-friend'
I'll leave off the 'cyber'
And just call you friend
I feel I must thank you
For showering me with love
My angels right here on earth
Sent from Heaven above"
Author Unknown
God Bless My Computer
"Now I know that it's not normal
To bless a mother board
But listen please Lord to me
You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends
Inside those small components
Rest a hundred of my 'Best Friends'
Some it's true I've never seen
And most I've never met
We've never shaken hands
Or shared a meal as yet
I know for sure they like me
By the kindnesses that they give
And this little scrap of metal
Is how I travel to where they live
By faith is how I know them
Much the same as I know you
I share in what life brings them
From that our friendship grew.
'Please' take an extra minute
from your duties up above…
to bless this hunk of metal
that's filled with so much love."
Author Unknown
(ILYCM)
"Technology evolves so much faster than wisdom." Jennifer Stone
SUNDAY REFLECTION
"I dreamed I had an interview with God"
"Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview me?"
"If you have the time." I said.
God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"
"What surprises you most about mankind?"
God answered: "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again. That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they never lived…."
God's hands took mine and we were silent for awhile and then I asked—"As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?" God replied with a smile: "To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved. To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives. To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis! To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least. To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them. To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness. To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings. To learn that money can buy everything but happiness. To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally differently. To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them and likes them anyway. To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."
I sat there for awhile, enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for my family, and me and He replied, "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."
"Destiny doesn't exist. It's God we need, and fast." Adelia Prado
SATURDAY SILLINESS
If you have never experienced "bank angst," you are probably in the minority. If you have this will make you laugh out loud!
Subject: Actual letter sent to a bank. The Bank thought it amusing enough to publish in the "New York Times." It would make a brilliant long copy ad for a non-bank lending institution.
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place seven or eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness. No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs in 2000, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. I can think of no greater compliment, and I know you will be excited and proud to hear it. To this end, please be aware that I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, whereas, when I try to contact you I am confronted by the entity your bank has become.
From now on I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh and blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee of your branch, whom you must nominate. You will be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status, which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but is necessary in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank. Please note that a Justice of the Peace must countersign all copies of his or her medical history, and that the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course I will issue your employee with a PIN number, which he/she must quote in all dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further by introducing you to my new telephone system, which you will notice, is very much like yours. My Authorized Contact at your bank, the only person with whom I will have any dealings, may call me at any time and will be answered by an automated voice. By pressing Buttons on the phone, he/she will be guided through an extensive set of menus:
1. To make an appointment to see me
2. To query a missing repayment
3. To make a general complaint or inquiry
4. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there: Extension # of living room to be communicated at the time the call is received.
5. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping. Extension # of bedroom to be communicated at the time the call is received.
6. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. Extension # of toilet to be communicated at the time the call is received.
7. To transfer the call to my mobile phone in case I am not at home.
8. To leave a message on my computer. A password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the designated contact.
9. To return to the main menu and listen carefully to options 1 through 8.
10. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
While this may on occasion involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration. This month I've chosen a refrain from The Best Of Woody Guthrie: "Oh, the banks are made of marble with a guard at every door and the vaults are filled with silver that the miners sweated for." After twenty minutes of that, our mutual contact will probably know it all by heart.
On a more serious note, we come to the matter of cost. As your bank has often pointed out, the ongoing drive for greater efficiency comes at a cost -- a cost that you have always been quick to pass on to me. Let me repay your kindness by passing some costs back.
a) First, there is the matter of advertising material you send me.
b) This I will read for a fee of $20 per page.
c) Inquiries from your nominated contact will be billed at $5 per minute of my time spent in response.
d) Any debits to my account, as, for example, in the matter of the penalty for the dishonored check, will be passed back to you.
e) My new phone service runs at 75 cents a minute (even Woody Guthrie doesn't come for free), so you would be well advised to keep your inquiries brief and to the point.
f) Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
g) May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous Good Day!!
This was written by the CEO of Coca-Cola Brian G. Dyson.
It was used as Georgia Tech's Commencement Address
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family -Health - Friends - Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
9. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
10. Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
11. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
12. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
(CILYM)
"Life gives us what we need when we need it. Receiving what it gives us is a whole other thing." Pam Houston
BLAST FROM THE PAST….now, more than ever, we long for "the good old days"
Let's go back.......
Close your eyes...and go back...
Before the Internet or the MAC,
Before semi automatics and crack
Before chronic and indo
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo.
Way back...
I'm talking about hide-and-go-seek at dusk.
Sitting on the porch,
Hot bread and butter.
The ice cream man,
Eating a 'super dooper sandwich',
Red light, Green light.
Chocolate milk,
Lunch tickets,
Penny candy in a brown paper bag.
Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch
Jacks, kickball, dodgeball, y'all!
Mother May I?
Hula Hoops and sunflower seeds,
Jolly Ranchers, blowpops, Mary Janes,
Grape and watermelon Now-Laters (what about "Alexander the grape," "lemonheads")
Running through the sprinkler...
The smell of the sun and licking salty lips.....
Watching Saturday morning cartoons,
Fat Albert, Road Runner, He-Man, The Three Stooges, and Bugs,
Catching lightning bugs in a jar,
Playing sling shot.
When around the corner seemed far away,
And going downtown seemed like going somewhere.
Bedtime,
Climbing trees,
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers,
Cops and Robbers,
Cowboys and Indians,
Sitting on the curb,
Jumping down the steps,
Jumping on the bed.
Pillow fights,
Being tickled to death,
Running until you were out of breath,
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from playing...
Remember that?
Crowding around in a circle at the 'after school fight', then running when the teacher came.
What about the girl that had the big bubbly handwriting??
Eating Kool-aid powder with sugar
Didn't that feel good...just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!" There's nothing like the good old days! They were good then, and they're good now when we think about them. One can't be serious ALL the time, eh?
Remember......
When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym."
When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When nobody owned a purebred dog.
When a quarter was a decent allowance and another quarter a huge bonus.
When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done...every day.
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And you didn't pay for air.
And, you got trading stamps to boot!
When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed...and did!
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
"We are pushed forward by the social forces, reluctant and stumbling, our faces over our shoulders, clutching at every relic of the past as we are forced along; still adoring whatever is behind us. We insist upon worshiping 'the God of our fathers.' Why not the God of our children? Does eternity only stretch one way?"
(ILYCM)
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month is dedicated to increasing the awareness of the importance of early detection and treatment. 15 years of raising Breast Cancer Awareness. Log on to learn what experts are saying about the future. www.nbcam.org
"Out of the mouths of babes"
Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones you have? -Amy
Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry
Dear God, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan
Dear God, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane
Dear God, I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, -Alison
Dear God, Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? -Lucy
Dear God, Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma
Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Jan
Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
Dear God, What does it mean You are a jealous God? I thought you have everything. -Jane
Dear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?" Because if You did, then I'm going to really cream my brother. -Darla
Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend, (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before—You can look it up. -Bruce
Dear God, Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best. -Rob
Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School they said You did it. So I bet he stole your idea. Sincerely, Donna
Dear God, The bad people laughed at Noah—"You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. -Eddie
Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am not saying that because You are God already. -Charles
Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool. -Eugene
"Children always take the line of most persistence." Marcelene Cox, in Ladies Home Journal (1947)
(ILYCM)
And that's what so often makes them irresistible….Neat Women Inc
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